During last night’s SNL quarantined monologue Tom Hanks mentioned that his head had been shaved for Baz Luhrman‘s Elvis Presley movie, which is presumably still on hold during the pandemic. The idea was for Hanks to closely resemble Colonel Tom Parker, who was Presley’s slippery manager from the mid ’50s until Presley’s death in ’77.

If Luhrman and Hanks are going for 100% realism Hanks would have to wear a fatsuit as Parker became something of a lardbucket in the ’60s.

In any event I wish Hanks would’ve dropped the bounce and just shared what it was like to grapple with COVID-19. Did he have as rough a time as Chris Cuomo did? Did he do those breathing exercises recommended by J.K. Rowling? Really…how hard was it?