…and thereby celebrate an unmistakably mediocre, wildly over-written and frenetically visualized film about the Marvel martial-arts heebee-jeebies. But that’s okay because voting for the Daniels will affirm and celebrate the growing visibility and influence of Asian identity in modern cinema. Because in terms of woke Oscars, that’s what really matters at the end of the day…identity over quality. (Ask Jen Yamato.) Plus, at the same time, a vote for the Daniels acknowledges and in fact salutes the growing power of fickle-woke, anti-classical, “anything to piss off the 45-plus crowd” critics like David Ehrlich!

“Now, John the blacksmith, he torturing a thief / Says to the hero, the Commander-in-chief / ‘Tell me, great hero, but please make it brief / Is there a hole for me to get sick in?'”