“Last year’s woke Soderbergh Oscar telecast was the nadir…we realize that. The Oscars had been losing steam anyway, but the Union Station awards put a fork in it. In one fell swoop we destroyed whatever allure the Oscars once had.

“But this year will be different. We recognize it’s a live event television show and we must prioritize the television audience to increase viewer engagement and keep the show vital, kinetic, and relevant.” – A half-imagined quote from AMPAS honcho David Rubin.