If I was a male teen with ambivalent or queer-leaning thoughts in my head, and if I was vacationing with an unregenerately straight older brother who’s always trying to put the moves on any pistol-hot girl or woman who happens along, and if we were to get really high one night and then fall into a menage a quatre with a couple of adventurous women, I’ll tell you what I wouldn’t do.

I wouldn’t kiss my older brother because….are you kidding me? Isn’t there a fundamental biological law that forbids any kind of erotic fooling around between brothers? I don’t care what the women are goading me into doing. Being bisexual or even gay, I might impulsively let my hair down with some dude I’ve met at a bar or on the beach, but there’s no way I’d try to slurp-kiss my older brother…are you frickin’ crazy?

And I double-triple-quadruple-quintuple wouldn’t fondle his erect member under a bedsheet and try to whack him off….get outta here! Not happening, dude!

I’m just speaking hypothetically in a general way, of course. If you’re into loose gossip you might deduce that I’m talking about something that may or may not happen in episodes #5 and #6 of The White Lotus and particularly between Sam Nivola‘s Lochlan Ratliff and Patrick Schwarzenegger as Saxon Ratliff, but I haven’t seen either episode so that would be an extremely loose-lippy deal. Okay, I’ve heard stuff from trusted bros.