Hollywood Elsewhere’s Southwest flight arrived in Salt Lake City around 3:15 pm. A Canyons shuttle dropped me at the Park Regency a couple of hours later. I told the desk clerks that I’m sharing with Jordan Ruimy and Bob Koehler, and they gave me a key to a second floor two-bedroom suite — #209.

I let myself in and noticed that both bedrooms had been slept in and that a lot of ski gear was lying around.

The clutter was bothersome. I’ve paid the lion’s share of the rent, and was therefore expecting that the bigger bedroom would be, you know, all pristine and unsullied and ready for Jeffy. I felt disappointed and a bit puzzled, but what the hell. I sat down at the kitchen table, took out one of my laptops and began to file.

Email to Jordan & Bob: “I paid more than you guys so I get the nicer bedroom, right?  But somebody’s occupying it.  I’m not trying to go all Alpha Dog on you, but I did pay more so I do have seniority.  I mean, I’m the daddy.”

After 45 minutes a 50ish guy and his wife entered. Boing!! They were surprised to see a stranger making himself at home in their private abode, and I was surprised to see them. Nobody freaked but the vibe was naturally weird. The wife put her hands to her mouth when she saw me. “It’s okay, it’s cool, just a mistake,” I told her.

The Park Regency guys had given me the wrong key — Koehler and Ruimy were actually in suite #309. I apologized, made a couple of bad jokes, gathered my stuff and wished them a good day.