Day: February 4, 2013

There’s a five-minute visual essay on Criterion’s new On The Waterfront Bluray called “On The Aspect Ratio.” It explains why Criterion went with three aspect ratios — 1.66 (the preferred default version), 1.33 and 1.85. Here’s the narration. I’m warning the 1.85 fascists right now that they won’t like it. This is the end of the influence of this rogue cabal. Henceforth the 1.66-ers and the “boxy is beautiful” gang will have the upper hand.

Update: Some of the commenters are shrugging and saying, “Uhh, so these Columbia films were framed for 1.85 but protected for 1.33…so what?” The “so what” is that the Criterion guys, the ultimate, high-end purist dweebs of the digital home-video realm, explain in this essay why they chose 1.66 as their default a.r., and how severely and pointlessly cropped 1.85 is and how open and accepting and all-encompassing 1.33 is. The essay basically says “if you have any taste at all or have any regard for aesthetic elegance and balance, it’s obvious that 1.66 or 1.33 is the way to go. You’d have to be a troglodyte to prefer 1.85.”

The sight of Chinese theatre co-owners Elie Samaha and Don Kushner at this morning’s Robert DeNiro handprint ceremony reminded me of their reported plans to rip out the original orchestra seating and install stadium seating. The Chinese is not just a landmark but a church, a cathedral, a place of worship. And a few months from now the classic look and historical vibe that Sid Grauman created in the main auditorium will be raped and destroyed, at least as far as the seating is concerned.

Chinese co-owners Elie Samaha (l.), Don Kushner (r.) at this morning’s Robert DeNiro handprint ceremony.

Imagine if a couple of oily operators bought the old Paris Opera house and announced plans to turn it into a megaplex and install stadium seating. Do you think Parisians would shrug their shoulders and go “okay, whatever”? But that’s been the reaction so far from Los Angelenos to Samaha and Kishner’s stadium-seating intentions, which will be funded with a $5 million investment from TCL, the Chinese TV maker that has re-branded the classic theatre. It all falls under the general term known as “re-monetizing assets.”

A source tells me that come April, or just after the 2013 Turner Classic Movie Festival, the former Graumans will be closed for five to six months for remodelling. A 1.11 L.A. Times article said that “planned improvements include a new extra-wide screen, stadium seating, superior sound and projection systems, and a new box-office marquee on Hollywood Boulevard.”

Gold Derby‘s Tom O’Neil and I kicked around the post-DGA situation this morning. Here’s the mp3. It’s okay, nothing special. The only thing that came out of it, really, is an agreement that with Ben Affleck out of the running for the Best Director Oscar, Academy voters will probably give it to Steven Spielberg as a kind of sympathy vote because Lincoln is now sunk as a Best Picture contender.

This is a nice, generic, hit-the-basic-points interview with Silver Linings Playbook costar Robert De Niro. A piece for someone who’s just arrived from the Planet Neptune and has never heard of DeNiro before. But honestly? I can’t stand the narration and the questions posed by interviewer Lee Cowan, and particularly his unctuous manner. His smile, his voice…I hate everything about this guy, including the fact that he’s the size of Richard Kiel.

If Cowan was interviewing me and he asked “are you a happy man?,” I’d tell him “Yeah, I am…or at least I was until I sat down with you.”

Actual Cowan question to DeNiro: “When people come up to you and describe you as a legend, how does that sit with you?” Actual DeNiro reply: “I don’t know what to say to that. I mean, I’m flattered but it’s…I don’t know. Imagined HE response if I was DeNiro: “People don’t come up to me and describe me as a legend. Or at least people who aren’t mental cases don’t. For the most part only corporate media toadies like you ask me stuff like that. Guys like you, junket whores…they love questions like this.

“‘Legend’ is a word that only big-media assholes use. Another word they use a lot is ‘genius.’ They also like ‘magic.’ That night be their most favorite word of all. A perfect sentence for a corporate asshole to say is ‘I just met a real genius….and what can I say? The man is a legend. Every time he gets up on the stage or steps in front of a camera, it’s magic.'”

In short I admire DeNiro’s restraint, his subtlety, his ability to suck it in and just play it nice and polite. Because I know what he’s really thinking.

This morning I attended a Grauman’s Chinese handprint ceremony for Silver Linings Playbook costar and Best Supporting Actor nominee Robert De Niro. Bobby D is doing all he can to out-promote his main competitor, Lincoln‘s Tommy Lee Jones. (TLJ snagged SAG’s Best Supporting Actor award so watch out.) De Niro’s Analyze This costar Billy Crystal and SLP director-writer David O. Russell offered gracious compliments, and Fandango’s Dave Karger was the emcee.

“Heeyyyy! Wet gunk on my hands! Fuck am I doing here?” Robert De Niro at this morning’s TCL Chinese handprint ceremony — Monday, 2.4, 10:10 am.

De Niro is doing a q & a at Santa Monica’s Aero tonight, and I’ll be at that event also.

Fandango’s Dave Karger deliveriing introductory remarks.

(l to r.) Crystal, DeNiro, DeNiro’s wife Grace Hightower, Silver Linings Playbook director-writer David O. Russell.

Between De Niro’s joke about how “Joe Pesci always told me I’d end up with my feet in cement” and the presence of TCL Chinese co-owners Elie Samaha and Don Kushner, who exude the same kind of flashy ne’er-do-well vibe as Mickey Cohen or Bugsy Siegel but without the class, I was thinking of an old Lenny Bruce routine:

New Jersey guy #1: Say, what happened to your partner?
New Jersey guy #2: He drowned.
New Jersey guy #1: What, in February?
New Jersey guy #2: Yeah.
New Jersey guy #1: What, he couldn’t swim?
New Jersey guy #2: Nah, he couldn’t get out of the car.