Beware of dodging jokers. By this I mean anyone who makes a joke but isn’t joking. If anyone makes a humorous reference to something they’ve noticed about you or want from you or dislike about you, they’re not making a joke. They’re being dead serious under the guise of humor. I never grin or chuckle at this shite. I always look the “joke”-teller in the eye and say “so this is what you really want or think?” or “do you really think I’d say or do that?” Because there are no jokes. Anyone who uses humor to mask what they feel or believe is not to be trusted. It means they don’t like dealing straight cards, and are likely to hide or dodge or lie when push comes to shove. (It’s roughly the same thing with people who begin a statement by saying “honestly?”) It also means they’re not very perceptive, and/or that they’ve never read Freud’s “The Joke And Its Relation to the Unconscious.” Qualification: Deadpan put-on jokes are exempted from this criticism.

In an email sent last night a friend characterized regular HE commenters as “a pack of wolves,” and then said this is why she doesn’t comment herself. She doesn’t want to get bitten or snapped at, and so she’s a lurker…safer that way. This is not a new concern, but for some reason hearing her say this gave me pause. The vast majority of the biting and snapping is directed at me so why would an average reader (i.e., one who doesn’t have the personality of a timber wolf in winter) feel intimidated? I’ll put it to the wolves…er, the commenters themselves. Does my friend have a point? Does HE exude a snarly atmosphere that is scaring off potential commenters? Do you feel it’s fair to characterize HE regulars as wolves? If not, what animal species would be an appropriate metaphor? And lastly, is there anything I can do to remedy this situation? Or should I just shrug my shoulders?