The headline refers to Glenn Kenny’s reaction to James Ponsoldt‘s End of the Tour, and particularly Jason Segel‘s hulking-behemoth performance as the late David Foster Wallace. Just when Kenny thought he was out, they pull him back in.

The new Big Short trailer is trying to sell a revenge-caper plot that doesn’t exist. Early on the husky-voiced narrator says the following: “When the banks committed the greatest fraud in U.S. history, four outsiders risked it all to take them down.” Nobody, trust me, is looking to take anyone down in The Big Short. It’s about a few guys (including Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell and Brad Pitt‘s characters) shorting the residential mortgage market in order to profit off the stupidity of the big banks. Ladies, it’s okay with me if Paramount marketing wants to misrepresent the film. The Big Short is a delicious financial procedural, but people who go expecting a little Ocean’s 11 action are going to feel a wee bit underwhelmed. Again, the mp3.

The Krampus legend, which originated in Austria in the 1800s, is about “a horned, anthropomorphic figure [who] punishes children during the Christmas season who have misbehaved.” But in Michael Dougherty‘s darkly comic film (Universal, 12.4), Krampus is looking to punish the whole family for being selfish, distracted, self-absorbed shits who couldn’t care less about the Christmas spirit, etc. In short, Krampus is at least theoretically a metaphor for rightwing Christians who despise non-believers and insist that Starbucks’ red cups without snowfakes or reindeer or any of the other bullshit decorations are an affront to the legend of Jesus. Will Krampus be half-funny? Will it be better than just another rank holiday movie looking to cash in? From screening invite: “Please note the review embargo is Thursday, December 3rd, 2015 at 4 pm Pacific.” If Universal had said it’s fine to post reviews at 10 am the day before it opens, that would obviously indicate a high level of confidence. But 4 pm is worrisome.

This poster was recently snap-captured by a relation of Sasha Stone‘s in a Los Cabos plex. In the ’80s or before the poster would read Silencio but everybody reads English now & nobody cares. Is the “do not be afraid” slogan aimed at moviegoers who might be concerned about sitting through another Kundun-like, Scorsese-goes-to-Asia-to-sink-into-the-spiritual film? Except this time the focus is on damp, bearded men of faith in 17th Century Japan who wind up getting, like, tortured. And why would a poster say “coming soon” with the first possible peek-out being next May’s Cannes Film Festival, at best?

Invitations went out this morning for NY and LA press screenings of Quentin Tarantino‘s The Hateful Eight. Reviews are embargoed until 12.21. All screenings will present the slightly longer Ultra Panavision 70 version, which will run 175 minutes with a 12-minute intermission for a grand total of 187 minutes. I’ll be expecting, of course, an overture and an entr’acte musical passage between the two parts.

If you’re one of those impassioned, laser-focused, well-dressed media types you’ll almost certainly be driving towards the Academy’s Samuel Goldwyn theatre tonight around 7 pm or so. Because the show starts at 8 pm and you’ll want a good seat. “Something familiar, something peculiar, something for everyone…The Revenant tonight! Something appealing, something appalling, something for everyone…The Revenant tonight! Old situations, new complications,nothing portentous or polite…The Revenant tonight!” — from Stephen Sondheim‘s “The Revenant Tonight” from A Funny Thing Happened on The Way to the Forum.

Looking forward to re-watching every one of these on the 60-inch Samsung with the sound as full and crisp as I choose. Especially 45 Years (I’m fairly certain Charlotte Rampling is going to score with critics groups as a Best Actress recipient) and Son of Saul.