Day: August 14, 2021

An oldie but goodie…please excuse the laziness. At least I’ve added a few lines:

Posted on 12.21.15: Back in the 20th Century people used to ask actors for autographs instead of selfies. Eccentric as it may sound, fans would actually carry around autograph books for this purpose. It’s been suggested that now and then hardcore fans would ask for more than just a signature — they would ask the celebrity to write a quote he/she is famous for uttering in a film.

If you were an autograph hound and you ran into Gloria Swanson back in the day, you would ask her to write “I am big…it’s the pictures that got small.”

If you bumped into William Holden, you’d ask for “if they move, kill ’em.”

If you walked into an elevator and Warren Oates was standing there, you’d ask for “lighten up, Clarence.”

If you ran into James Cagney when he was vibrant and mobile, you’d ask for “made it, ma!…top of the world!” Or perhaps “I ain’t so tough.”

I would argue that if an alleged movie star doesn’t have a signature line or two, he/she isn’t really a movie star.

Tommy Lee Jones: “And then I woke up.”

What’s Sandra Bullock‘s signature line? Margot Robbie‘s? Emma Stone‘s?

Nic Cage? I strangely can’t think of one off the top.

Meryl Streep: Drawing a blank.

Bette Davis: “Fasten your seatbelts — it’s going to be a bumpy night.”

Warren Beatty (originally suggested by “filmklassik“): “Let’s face it, I fucked ‘em all. I go into that shop and they’re so great looking, you know. And I’m doing their hair and they feel great, and they smell great. Or I could be out on the street, you know, and I could just stop at a stoplight or go into an elevator, or I…there’s a beautiful girl. I don’t know, I mean, that’s it…it makes my day, it makes me feel like I’m gonna live forever. And as far as I’m concerned, with what I’d like to have done at this point in my life, I know I should have accomplished more, but I’ve got no regrets. Maybe that means I don’t love ’em, maybe it means I don’t love you, I don’t know. Nobody’s gonna tell me I don’t like ’em very much.”

Harrison Ford: “I know.” (The Empire Strikes Back)

Jeremy Irons: “You have no idea.” (Reversal of Fortune)

Charles Grodin: “Pecan pie…they’ve got it back there!” (The Heartbreak Kid)

Daily Beast contributor Tom Teodorczuk posted an interview with 45 Years costar Tom Courtenay, and about halfway through Courtenay mentions that he was recently approached by an autograph hunter asking him to sign a piece of paper underneath the words “the personal life is dead” — one of the utterances of Strelnikov, his character in Dr. Zhivago.

Back in the late ’70s I recalled running into In Cold Blood costar Scott Wilson in a West Hollywood bar. Wimp that I am, I stifled an instinct to ask for an autograph along with the words “hair on the walls” — a Dick Hickock line from Truman Capote‘s nonfiction novel.

If I could persuade Brad Pitt to write down a signature line, I’d ask him to write “don’t cry in front of the Mexicans.”

If I’d run into Marlon Brando in the ’70s, I would have asked him to write either “whatta ya got?” (a line from The Wild One) or “Don’t be doin’ her like that” (from One-Eyed Jacks).

If I’d enountered Montgomery Clift I’d ask him to write “nobody ever lies about being lonely” — a Robert E. Lee Prewitt/From Here To Eternity line.

If I saw director-actor Alfonso Arau I would ask him to write “damn gringos!” Further suggestions along these lines?

Robert De Niro: “Are you talkin’ to me?”

Samuel L. Jackson: “I don’t remember askin’ you a goddam thing!”

Seth Rogen: “Heh heh heh heh yuk yuk yuk!”

Bruce Willis: “Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!” or “Welcome to the party, pal!”

Al Pacino: “Hoo-hah!”

Jonah Hill: “Are those my only two options?”

Surely there are a few HE regulars who’ve seen Sian Heder‘s CODA (Apple TV+) over the last couple of days, and are willing to be honest and modify the enthusiasm levels a bit. The critics have gone apeshit for this film, and yet as agreeable and nicely handled as it is, CODA is not my idea of a a 96% Rotten Tomato score. The Metacritic community has given it a more appropriate 75% score.

As far as it goes, CODA is a pleasing, well-made family drama. There’s nothing wrong with this kind of film. It’s just not triple-A level, and that’s not a putdown — it’s merely a qualification.

Peter Rainer: “As effective as it is — and it is an effective tearjerker — it does go down the checklist of things to push your buttons on. It’s almost like a really well-designed Broadway show.”

The Telegraph‘s Tim Robey: “Sian Heder’s film [reduces] far too many of the family dynamics to the level of a bickering sitcom. The film is also obsessed to a fatuous degree with how much hilariously loud and vigorous sex her parents have. The film is way too busy playing things cute.”

“CODA especially suffers because of its release four months after Darius Marder’s tremendous Sound of Metal, a genuinely adventurous, formally experimental take on deaf issues which was also directed, written by and principally starred hearing individuals.”

I am naturally mindful of the dangers of the Delta variant, but it is also my firm belief that Delta Covid infections are mostly (almost entirely) an anti-vax bumblefuck problem. If you haven’t been vaccinated for reasons of stupidity, you’re vulnerable. Perhaps you or someone in your family will become sick or worse, God forbid. Life is choices and actions have consequences, and there’s just no basis for feeling any sort of sympathy for people who have refused the vaccine. They had a chance to protect themselves, and they blew it off.

I’ve no doubt that with all the safety protocols in place at the 2021 Telluride Film Festival, everything will be more or less cool. And within the bounds of reason and appropriate caution, I’m not sweating day-to-day life in West Hollywood either. When will this nightmare end? God knows. Were it not for the idiots (rural and urban refuseniks) the pandemic could have been over and done with by now.

Anyway, earlier today I happened to re-read a 3.23.20 post called “Introducing the Virusbro.” 17 months ago, give or take. The term “virusbro” came from HE commenter Manwe Sulimo.

“As far as I can assess there are five modes of COVID-19 behavior,” I wrote.

“First are the oblivious assholes who wander all over, take few precautions, don’t wash their hands much, behave as if nothing’s really changed, etc. These people are public enemies.

“Next in line are your casual responders — people who are mindful of the pandemic but are somewhat careless or sloppy-minded…taking walks, talking to friends on the street (I saw a few yesterday and the day before), washing their hands once or twice a day if that, willing to alter their behavior but not that much.

“Then there are your caution freaks who nonetheless yearn to taste a spoonful or two of the life they used to live — people like myself who wash their hands obsessively, never go outside for supplies (local market, CVS) without a face mask and plastic gloves, never stand less than three or four feet from anyone, who wash their hands when they get home and then again for good measure, and who occasionally indulge in modest rumblehogging.” [This was HE’s mode of behavior.]

“Fourth are your strict shut-ins who haven’t left their homes over the last 10 or 12 days due to the usual fears and who order all necessities online — the ideal citizen in this time of nightmare crisis. Tatyana freely admits to being this kind of conservative.

“Last and fifth is your semi-paranoid Howard Hughes-style germaphobe who pads around the house with plastic bags around his/her feet, washes hands frequently (which is good) and constantly wipes down kitchen counters and coffee tables (which is good) and who, when online, shrieks and scolds the fuck out of anyone who admits to careful shopping and taking an occasional breath of fresh air by lowering their face mask while standing on a patch of grass near a parking lot. Or while driving inside a car with all the windows closed.

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Update from MSNBC’s Richard Engel: “This city is bracing for a Taliban takeover…the city has collapsed…there is no security…there are signs of looting…a woman’s hair salon is tearing down or painting over posters of women with [upscale] hair styles.”

Earlier: We always knew that when U.S. troops finally leave Afghanistan, a terrible massacre would follow. Joe Biden knew this all along, and of course is bearing the psychological burden of having decided to pull up stakes. Everyone understands the likelihood of coming carnage. Nobody wants to think about it, but there it is all the same.

The Taliban ran Afghanistan with absolute Sharia Law brutality for five years (’96 to ’01). Massacres of Afghan civilians, public whippings and executions, denying UN food supplies to starving civilians, the burning of fertile lands, cultural genocide (banning of paintings, photography, movies, music), preventing women from attending school and working in public places, and requiring women to be accompanied by a male relative and wearing a burqa at all times in public.

In October 2001, a month or so after the 9/11 attacks, U.S. forces invaded Afghanistan and routed the Taliban regime. Taliban forces fled to Pakistan. We’ve been in Afghanistan for just shy of 20 years now, knowing each and every day that we couldn’t win in the end, and that sooner or later all outside invaders retreat to their own shores. We never accomplished anything more than a stalemate situation. U.S. troop levels went way up during the first five years of the Obama administration (’10 and ’11 were the peaks) and to no end.

According to a Brown University study posted on 11.13.19, the U.S. had spent around $978 billion in Afghanistan (including expenditures earmarked for the 2020 fiscal year). The same report says the total expenditure for all anti-terrorist defense campaigns in the Middle East since ’01 comes to $6.4 trillion.

And now, with U.S. forces pulling out for good, Taliban forces are already occupying the vast majority of the country with Kabul sure to fall by sometime very soon. Life will be nothing short of hellish for Afghan women and their children.

How many tens of thousands of South Vietnamese were killed by North Vietnamese forces after Saigon fell in April ’75? How many tens of thousands of Afghan citizens will be put to death when the Taliban takeover is complete?

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