Day: April 5, 2023

…that was making my chest ache and keeping me from slumber all last night…whatever it was, it gave up the ghost a couple of hours ago and now I’m feeling okay again.

I’m sorry but it’s time to come clean about those micro-sized Johnsons that Michelangelo painted and sculpted time and again.

I’ve always been uncomfortable with thimble-sized packages. A self-respecting man should always display a little “heft”, as Terry Southern used to put it. It’s just not cool to have a push-pin shlongola, and I’m wondering how and why a gay man like Michelangelo would be down with this.

To this day I can vividly recall the slight feelings of discomfort when I caught my first glimpse of a semi-hefty male organ. It happened in the showers of the Westfield YMCA, and I remember muttering to myself “Jesus, this guy’s bigger than the golden nude male statue (“Prometheus”) at Rockefeller Center.”

Roger Friedman has seen Woody Allen’s Coup de Chance, and is so impressed with the 90-minute, French-speaking noir that he’s suggesting it could end up winning the Best Int’l Feature Oscar next year.

It’s great to hear this level of enthusiasm, and it makes me all the more hopeful that Coup de Chance will play Cannes next month.

It goes without saying, of course, that Allen haters would never allow it to even be nominated, much less win. They would shriek and howl at even the possibility.

And what’s with the 90-minute length, by the way? Doesn’t Allen understand that the average running time these days is well over two hours?

Maiwenn‘s Jeanne du Barry, a historical drama set in the mid to late 1700s France (i.e., mostly before but also including the French Revolution), will open the ’23 Cannes Film Festival on Tuesday, 5.16.

Opening-night films are almost always weak or problematic in some fashion. From a certain perspective it’s almost a curse, categorically speaking.

Alternately called La Favorite, the film will star Maiwenn as Jeanne Becu (aka Madame du Barry) in a rags-to-riches-to-guillotine story.

Accused of treason, Becu lost her head during the French terror, and more precisely on December 8, 1793.

Johnny Depp plays the aged King Louis XV, who enjoyed Becu as his final mistress. The only problem is that Louis XV died in 1774, or 15 years before the French Revolution of ’89 and nearly 20 years before Becu’s execution so I don’t get it. I’m not trying to be a smartass — I’m just trying to understand.

Wikipedia says Netflix will release Jeanne du Barry in France in 2023 (probably right after Cannes ’23), but that the streaming release won’t happen for another 15 months, or sometime in the fall of ’24. The Wiki page also states that the film, which finished shooting last October, was financed by the Red Sea International Film Festival. I don’t know…sounds kinda fishy.

I haven’t seen Psycho in a boxy format in many decades, but it’s currently viewable in this aspect ratio (1.37:1) on Netflix. The images look soft and grainy, like you’re watching a broadcast version on an old TV in 1974. The framings are nonetheless fascinating. I suspect that some Netflix techie made a mistake and this version won’t last long, so jump on it as soon as you can.

It’s not Covid (just tested myself) and there’s no fever, but something got into me last night. A serious ache in my chest. Not a heart attack but something. Persistent fatigue. I couldn’t sleep all night. Breathing hurts a bit. Whatever it is, I’m waiting it out.