There’s a degree of irony, methinks, in Demi Moore starring in The Substance, a riveting David Cronenberg-ian body-horror flick about the fear of aging among older women and the application of artificial enhancements, when it’s been apparent for some time that Moore herself has been augmenting nature with the usual costly touch-ups.

Not that I have the slightest problem with this. Born during the Kennedy administration, Moore looks great (and I’m saying this as a veteran of three Prague procedures so don’t tell me) but c’mon…her character, an aging actress and workout-show host named Elizabeth Sparkle who injects herself with a radical youth drug, isn’t that far from self-portraiture.

Sparkle’s radical de-aging situation conveys a certain parallel or reach-back to Oscar Wilde‘s Dorian Gray, of course, but I’m also thinking of poor, anguished Norma Desmond. Imagine her post-Sunset Boulevard, non-mental-asylum life with the benefit of today’s plastic surgery techniques. She might not have wound up shooting William Holden‘s Joe Gillis, and he might have become Betty Schaefer‘s permanent writing partner!

(Who speculated that Gillis might have somehow been the father of American Gigolo‘s Julian Kaye? Was it David Thomson?)

Directed by Coralie Fargeat, The Substance is a whipsmart body-horror flick. Urgency, punch and pizazz feeds into this synthetic-feeling, slickly assembled piece of feminist (i.e., male-asshole-hating) agitprop, and obviously with a bullhorn message, to wit: Women, throw off the yoke of male assholery and their imposition of bullshit beauty standards and live for yourselves.

There are only two problems with The Substance.

One, it’s not just about Moore’s Sparkle de-aging herself after being fired from her TV show (i.e, too old) but about being replaced by Margaret Qualley‘s Sue, a 20something who emerges, Cronenberg-style, from within Elizabeth. Elizabeth and Sue have some kind of alternating arrangement in which they take turns strutting around in the big, bad city. And I couldn’t understand the rules…how and why of it all.

And two, the film goes on too long. It wore me down and I started glancing at my watch repeatedly….c’mon, wrap this up already.

The New Yorker‘s Justin Chang is calling The Substance “a shoo-in for the Palme d’Or.” Sure thing. If they gave to Titane, why not?

19 days ago I predicted that certain Cannes critics would take issue with Kevin Costner‘s Horizon (which HE is seeing on Monday morning, 5.20, at 8:30 am). The issue, I wrote, would be a complaint that the Native American side of the settler saga hasn’t been explored with enough thoroughness or deference.

From an early Horizon review by Screen Daily ‘s Lee Marshall:

“It’s curious that, almost 35 years on from Dances With Wolves — a revisionist Western that still feels radical in the way it reframed the genre’s moral and narrative point of view to Native American peoples — Costner has turned traditionalist in Horizon.

“That’s in the nature of the well-researched story, co-written by Costner and newcomer Jon Baird, which centers on the enormous challenges facing early settlers in the American West, who were trying to make a life in an untamed land which didn’t belong to them.

“But you choose your stories, and the single, underdeveloped narrative thread that is dedicated to a First Nation community here feels like a corrective, rather than a commitment.”



Either you get with the program and drop to your knees as you enthusiastically agree that Jacques Audiard‘s Emilia Perez is a wowser transgender musical masterpiece, or you’re a sourpuss or a problematic person or worse (i.e., perhaps even a transphobe).

The Croisette cultists have spoken, and Greta Gerwig‘s jury is almost certainly going to go along. What choice do they have? I respect the impact factor — you can sense it, feel it.

And there’s no question that Karla Sofia Gascon, a trans biomale who plays the titular character, will be awarded the festival’s Best Actress prize.

Repeating: “Emilia Perez is certainly a nervy big-swing movie, and I’m certainly giving it points for this…it’s not an altogether fascinating film but is certainly one that fascinates from time to time…it’s up to something fairly novel in a wackazoid sort of way, and in my book there aren’t enough films of this sort so I’m definitely giving portions a solid pass.”

From David Rooney’s Hollywood Reporter review: “It’s highly probable that some will find the film too changeable to feel cohesive.”

Kevin Costner’s Campari Lounge sitdown with THR exec editor Scott Feinberg ended about 40 minutes ago. It lasted a good 65 or 70 minutes, and Costner looks so “movie star”, really great — radiant golden-gray hair, magnificent white suit, slender physique, cool black shades, sheepish grin. Plus he had the charm + candor levels turned up to 11.

While the Horizon director-star passed along many inspirational insights and some great stories about Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Robert DeNiro and Burt Lancaster, Feinberg’s meticulous, career-spanning questions appeared to drain Costner’s energy toward the end (“You’re gonna wear these people out”) and his patience was wearing thin (“Fuck, this is taking long!”, although he said so joshingly).

Quote: “Writing is the blood of what we do.” Quote #2: “I like movies the way you guys do…when the curtain opens I want something to happen…and I miss that curtain!” Quote #3: “I need some more money [to shoot parts 3 and 4 of Horizon with]…I really do, although I’ve shot three days’ worth of chapter 3 and when I get back I’ll be shooting another six days.” Quote #4: “When you go see Horizon and when the lights start to dim, go back to being a little girl or a little boy, close your eyes for two or three seconds, and then open them and go for a ride with me.”

We met in the down elevator after it ended. We’d gotten to know each other during the promotion of Mike Binder’s Black and White. Small talk, chit-chat. And it meant something (to me at least) when Kevin gave me a bro back-pat.

Scott Feinberg’s Awards Chatter podcast interview with Horizon maestro Kevin Costner begins in a few minutes so distraction levels are high, but there’s no question whatsoever that Halfdan Ullmann Tondel’s Armand, which I caught earlier this morning, is the finest film here, and I mean way, WAY above the level of Emilia Perez. All hail Renate Reinsve (The Worst Person in the World)!