Recalling Spielberg’s Violation of “West Side Story” Rules

Previously paywalled:

In Robert Wise’s 1961 West Side Story as well as innumerable stage versions performed over the decades, the dance scenes are never acknowledged by passersby, much less performed for them. In fact, passersby barely exist.

With the exception of “I Feel Pretty”, the basic rule is that each dance number happens in the hearts and minds of the Jets or Sharks.

And one other thing: Except for the opening sequence (i.e., ballet-like daytime street fighting), the dancing happens in a restricted space of some kind (dance hall, tenement rooftop, back alley, dress shop, drug store, rumble under a highway), and always among Jets or Sharks and their immediatekin or sympathizers.

The dancing, in short, is restricted to the immediate “family.” Neighborhood civilians never notice or acknowledge that any carefully choreographed activity is going on. The dancing is rigorously intimate — members only.

Which is why that “America” scene with Ariana DeBose (Anita) and David Alvarez (Bernardo) in Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story…dancing down and around San Juan Hill in the daylight — has been bothering me from the get-go. Because sidewalk neighborhood residents are clearly watching Anita and Bernardo and their friends “cut a Latin rug”, so to speak. And, one presumes, are enjoying the “show.”

That’s a violation of a basic West Side Story rule, and is where the the Spielberg film loses the mojo. Because the singing and dancing are absolutely not for onlookers.

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If Right-Leaning, Basement-Dwelling Dudes Thought Getting Laid Was An Elusive Butterfly Before 11.5

…they’re probably facing an even tougher situation now. Because the pollen from South Korea’s 4B movement — shorthand for bihon, bichulsan, biyeonae and bisekseu, which translate into “no marriage, no childbirth, no dating and no sex with men” — is reportedly floating to receptive American women. Because they really, really want to punish men for voting for Donald Trump.

This sort of thing has happened before, of course — some may have heard of an Aristophanes play called “Lysistrata” — but it’s probably true that liberal-minded women are going to be a lot less interested in any kind of carnal activity, and we all know this was already a low-flame thing, at least as far as lonely, depressed loser dudes were concerned.

@jennyzigrinocomedy Men are about to get way more lonely. #4b #6b #comedy #standupcomedy #election #men #women #dating ♬ original sound – jennyzigrinocomedy

@skynews Interest in a movement called ‘#4B’ surged #online immediately after news broke that #donaldtrump had won the #USelection. What is it and and why are #women in #America joining it? ♀️ #US #Harris #womenempowerment ♬ original sound – Sky News

12.25 Openers Sidestep Christmas Spirit, To Put It Mildly

Three significant films will open on Wednesday, 12.25 — Christmas Day — minus the sound of jingle bells, joyful carolers and deer hooves on the roof. Which is interesting.

James Mangold‘s A Complete Unknown, first and foremost — Timothée Chalamet, Edward Norton, Elle Fanning, Monica Barbaro, Boyd Holbrook, Dan Fogler, Norbert Leo Butz, Scoot McNairy.

Nosferatu, a jolting vampire film from Robert Eggers and costarring Bill Skarsgard, Nicholas Hoult, Lily-Rose Depp, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Emma Corrin and Willem Dafoe.

And Hailja Reijn‘s Babygirl, an allegedly worthwhile pervy relationship film with Nicole Kidman, Harris Dickinson, Sophie Wilde and Antonio Banderas.

That’s a fairly nifty-sounding holiday trio!

Two other noteworthies are opening on 12.25 — Rachel Morrison‘s The Fire Inside, a fact-based female boxing flick with Ryan Destiny and Brian Tyree Henry, and Tyler Nilson and Michael Schwartz‘s Los Frikis, which no one will flock to.

“If You Don’t Win, You Have Done Nothing”

Bill Maher: “Losers, look in the mirror.”

I’ve been constantly looking in the mirror since last Tuesday night, and I’m feeling a certain consolation amidst the shock and horror. I’ve begun to realize that the woke psychos are finished…they’re gradually realizing that their era is ending….over, in fact. That’s not a bad thing.

Three and a half months ago Bill Maher offered a rundown on Kamala Harris. It runs from 1:35 to 3:10. From the moment that Joe Biden threw in the towel until the night of Tuesday, 11.5, I thought Maher had been wrong….blind to what so many people loved about her. Now I have a different perspective.

Handicapped

Friendo: “Honestly? My first gut impression after glancing at this poster was that Paul Mescal is on crutches. Metallic multiple schlerosis crutches, of course. You can’t say that association isn’t there.”