Friendo: How has our world been made better by the erasure of Charlie Rose?

HE: Rose, as you well know, is serving a term of indefinite banishment for having been a creepy lech with women who worked for him. He’s been #MeToo’ed and guillotined and is for all practical purposes a dead man, and that’s that.

Friendo: I know but my question is ‘how has our world been made better without him’?

HE: It’s not better. Not by my sights. I loved his show for years. But anyone who says that openly will have the woke Stasi on their ass.

Friendo: We have these gaping holes in our culture now. It’s grotesque that we are living this way. Rose’s show was so soothing and elevating and necessary and seemingly irreplaceable, and it’s not like he died.

HE: We’re living in a totalitarian system of sorts — a tyranny of sensitive Millennial Stalinists determined to make things safer by way of terror. Rose didn’t die, of course, but he’s “dead” all the same. I loved his interviews with smart filmmakers. He could be a bit of a dick in person — a curt, dismissive type if you weren’t famous enough for his tastes.

Friendo: I guess but I feel like with all of this nonsense I’m being punished. I have to live in a world without Charlie Rose. I have to live in a world without movies produced by Scott Rudin. I have to live in a world without great comedy all because of little cry babies who throw a fit and everybody responds like indulgent parents.

HE: Cry babies by way of the East German secret police.