I’ll just hop into my Pontiac Firebird, gas up, bat outta hell. But why would I want to lam it when I’m pure as the driven snow? Either way I’m too fast for the cops. And if they do catch me I’ll just pardon myself.

“I bought a brand-new air-mobile / It custom-made, ’twas a Flight De Ville / With a pow’ful motor and some hideaway wings / Push in on the button and you can hear her sing / Now you can’t catch me…whoa, baby, you can’t catch me…’cause if you get too close, you know I’m gone like a cool breeze.”

Senator John McCain: “I like presidents who don’t need pardons, much less those who fantasize about giving themselves one.”

White House journalists, take note in how @PeterAlexander refused to give in to Sarah Sanders. This is how all of you should be acting when she clearly lies to and deceives the American people. pic.twitter.com/jlKRj3M8z7

— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) June 4, 2018