Taron Egerton, the absolute personification of arid robot 21st Century CG bullshit comic-book formula flotsam with his two Kingsman turns and lead performance in the forthcoming CG bullshit power-pop Robin Hood fantasy…Taron Egerton as Elton John in a forthcoming biopic called Rocketman? It sounds like a terrible idea. He doesn’t even begin to resemble the Real McCoy. Then again I suppose it’s possible that Egerton, who’s done a little theatre, has more up his sleeve than his movie roles so far have suggested.

Jamie Bell will reportedly play John’s songwriter partner Bernie Taupin. Dexter Fletcher, who did clean-up on Bohemian Rhapsody after Bryan Singer was canned, will direct the John-Taupin flick.

(l.) Taron Egerton; (r.) Elton John in the mid’70s.

Most of John’s present-day fans (i.e., the ones who know him from his Las Vegas shows or performing “Candle in the Wind” at Lady Di’s funeral in ’97) are probably unaware that once upon a time he was this slender, balding guy in platform shoes and oversized glitter glasses.

When I think of my favorite John-Taupin tunes…well, it’s a shifting and movable feast. But my top ten usually include “Someone Saved My Life Tonight”, “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word”, “Captain Fantastic and the Brown-Dirt Cowboy”, “Your Song”, “I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues”, “Sad Songs”, “Mona Lisa and Mad Hatter”, “Honky Cat”, “Tiny Dancer” and “Funeral For a Friend.” And I’ve always hated “Daniel”…hated it.