The first 25 seconds of the new Spencer teaser is pure British royalty porn — immense wealth, bucks-up brands, perfect luggage, servants with heads bowed, perfect servings of soup or dessert or whatever.

Cut to poor, pint-sized Diana (the 5’5″ Kristen Stewart**) and the anguish she’s going through, knowing that her marriage to the snooty Prince Charles (Jack Farthing) is a total sham. Worse than that, when they finally get divorced she’ll only have a lousy $22 million settlement to fall back upon. Plus an extra $600,000 per year plus free Kensington Palace office space plus life-long access to the private royal jets, etc.

Will someone out there please comprehend and share in this woman’s terrible pain?

All this said, HE approves of Lou Reed‘s “A Perfect Day.”

Spencer will debut at the Venice Film Festival on 9.3.21. Neon will open it theatrically on 11.5.21.

** 10 inches shorter than Elizabeth Debicki.