Critics Groups, Industry Gangbangers to Joe & Jane Popcorn: “Dismayed That ‘OBAA’ Is Winning All These Best Picture Trophies? Perplexed By Our Devotional Celebration of Girlboss Activist Agitprop??Well, We Don’t Care What You Think. We Live On Our Own Lefty-Ass Planet. Deal With It.”

Put another way, we don’t want Joe Schmoe ticket buyers to feel any kind of tingly excitement when OBAA starts winning big-time. We want them to scratch their heads and wonder what the fuck is going on here, etc.

Remember how badly most of you guys felt when Everything Everywhere All At Once won everything in ‘22? How you howled and screamed and repeatedly punched the refrigerator when Jamie Lee Curtis won for Best Supporting Actress? Well, grim up and get ready for a repeat. Because we not only hate you, but we want you to really and fully comprehend that.

Thank God, at least, that Sinners and the dragon-fingered Cynthia Erivo will almost certainly be getting the bum’s rush.