The copy doesn’t quite have my “true voice”, but it’s a close enough facsimile. Half HE, half grammar by way of a formalist aesthetic. But it’s fine. The piece (roughly 1500 words) has atmosphere, aroma, vague authority…whatever.
A few excerpts…
It’s par for the course for a submitted article to get stepped on and rewritten…no biggie. But this is my favorite paragraph in the whole thang, and it was cut entirely:
