Yacht of Grand Poobah

It’s been denied that Cannes Film Festival jury chairman Steven Spielberg and fellow jurors will watch the 20 competition films aboard Spielberg’s yacht, The Seven Seas, during the festival. The 282-foot yacht, which sailed from Ft. Lauderdale over a month ago so Spielberg can live on it during the festival, has “an infinity pool with a 15-foot glass wall that doubles as a movie screen so guests can watch his [films] while swimming or lounging poolside,” according to one description. If I was Spielberg I would do that without apology. I would wallow in pig luxury and tell the complainers to kiss my ass.

Then again if I, Jeffrey Wells, could afford to own The Seven Seas I wouldn’t own The Seven Seas. I would instead buy a three-masted wood and plexiglass schooner with beautiful canvas sails and classic early-20th-Century lines, like something Joseph Conrad would have sailed on in his youth. It would sleep ten or twelve and have a few choice goodies (onboard wifi, etc.) but I’d stop short at some of the tasteless, nouveau riche indulgences that Spielberg has gone in for.