After seeing Interstellar and contemplating the mixed reviews, TheWrap‘s Steve Pond is saying there’s still no Big Gorilla in the Best Picture room, which means that at the end of the day Boyhood, everyone’s favorite chimpanzee and obviously a long-distance runner, may be the last contender standing. Then to prove or fortify his point he looks at the other contenders and goes “yes but no, okay but naah, stirring but not quite.” Then he sticks his foot in it: “I love the exhilarating Birdman, but it’s awfully weird for Oscar voters.”

And with these words, Pond is holding hands and offering solace…speaking to the general community as a kind of understanding counselor…Father Pond in the confessional, listening to and to some extent validating the instincts of slouching comfort-seekers. “I understand, my parishioners,” he says, sounding a bit like Father O’Malley in Going My Way. “You don’t want exhilaration. You don’t want bracing New York theatre energy. You don’t want to know from the new 8 1/2 because — let’s be honest — you probably weren’t that much of a fan of Fellini’s 8 1/2 to begin with. Well, it’s okay. You can feel that way and I will be your voice, your listener, your interpreter, your man on the web…whatever lazy, semi-conscious, cow-pasture attitudes you want to bring to the Best Picture race, you’ll receive approbation and zero judgment from Father Pond.”