Warner Bros.’ decision to formally whack and totally fire Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men was, from a corporate perspective, unavoidable. Maybe they figured he’d destroyed his credibility as a semi-relatable human being. He’d gone too “tiger” and gone over the waterfalls. Sic semper shark-jumpers. Or the suits just thought about it long and hard and decided there was more downside than upside in Sheen staying on.

If it had been my call I would have given Sheen another go. I would have said, “Okay, no more insane coke rants, no more Tiger Blood…none of that. You’ve gotta calm the hell down and be mellow and serene and self-effacing, and then we’ll just do this. Because, as you and I know, the ratings will be great at first and they might continue that way and we, like you, just want the dough. Fuck it, right? But you have to fire those hangers-on and suck-uppers that we’ve seen on Sheen’s Korner. We hate those guys. And if you don’t get rid of them, the deal’s off. But if you do, we’re good.”