Jeffrey Wells

Good Company

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For decades a seriously respected film; now a symbol of rank 21st Century wokester fanaticism — equal to the attempted fixing of the 1919 World Series by gangsters.

What About The Poor Bike?

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Tom Cruise is fine but the bike is doomed…totally doomed to fall 1700 or 1800 feet and crash on the rocks below…smashed, shattered and mangled to death…forever ruined…a terrible way to die.

HE to Bryant: Addison DeWitt Was Straight

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Addison DeWitt to Eve Harrington near the end of All About Eve (’50): “That I should want you at all suddenly strikes me as the height of improbability. But that, in itself, is probably the reason. You’re an improbable person, Eve, and so am I. We have that in common. Our contempt for humanity, an inability to love and be loved, insatiable ambition, and talent. We deserve each other.”

In short, not only was DeWitt straight but he ended up putting the high hard one to Anne Baxter‘s Eve Harrington on a nightly basis, and sometimes twice on Sundays

Totally Hating Champagne Oscar Carpet

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If I was running the show I would say to all the gown designers and fashion consultants who’ve complained that traditional arterial crimson red doesn’t blend well with certain colors…I would say to them “gee, that’s too bad, I’m sorry to hear this but my answer is “tough shit and you can all kiss my ass because the red carpet is staying.”

From Sara Bahr’s 3.10.23 N.Y. Times story:

Bed-Sharing Dogs

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Since Thursday I’ve been dog-sitting in West Orange while Jett, Cait and Sutton are in Massachusetts for a weekend funeral. Joey, a pit bull with a bum hind leg, and Luna, a sausage beagle, are both older but they love me and I them.

But they insist on fairly close proximity and almost constant affection at all times, and after three days and nights I’m exhausted from lack of sleep due to sharing the guest room bed with these guys as they take up most of the mattress space. Three nights of bad sleep, mainly due to Joey.

Right now I’m trying to get a little extra shut-eye (I was up half the night from the sprawling bodies and dog farts, plus we just lost an hour to daylight savings) by locking Joey downstairs behind the plastic staircase gate.

And of course, Joey is whining and moaning and banging against the gate as we speak.

Update: Joey has somehow crashed or squeezed through the gate. He’s up here now with us, and of course he’s back on the bed. I love these guys but I’m getting sick of this — I’d like a little peace.

New update: Lying on the couch and of course they have to sleep either right next to me or on top of my legs.

Jett scolding: “U trained them, dad. U give Joey too much love and attention and let him walk all over u. My [disciplined] way may seem cruel but it’s the only way to have any sanity.”

Just Let Kerry Condon Win

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That’s all I’ll be asking for tomorrow night. I’ve accepted that as far as EEAAO is concerned, Sunday night’s grief will be a fallen leaf and I will weep as much (or as little) as necessary. But don’t give the Best Supporting Actress Oscar to Wakanda Forever’s Angela Bassett…please. Condon’s Banshees of Inisherin performance was so rich and real and open-hearted (so far above Bassett’s high–strung histrionics that it’s not even worth comparing the two)…just pan things out in Condon’s favor and I’ll find a way to live with the rest.