I’ll Be Catching Smarthouse Festival Films For The Rest Of My Life…

And that unalterable fact means that I’ll be obliged — okay, forced — again and again to sit through high-aspiring films that Variety ‘s Guy Lodge will praise to the heavens but which will also try my patience, at the very least, and may, in all probability, compel me to endure serious anguish and perhaps even misery.

The next film by Mascha Schilinski, director of the agonizing Sound of Falling, will probably subject me to great viewing difficulty. The next Park Chanwook film will almost certainly cause some degree of suffering. Ditto the next cinematically ambitious smarthouse film from Brutalist helmer Brady Corbet, and definitely the next equally ambitious effort from Mona Fastvold, whose The Testament of Ann Lee put me through the ringer a couple of months ago at the Venice Film Festival.

Who are the other guaranteed pain-giving directors? All I know for sure is that they’re out there, waiting to lower the boom. And as William Holden’s Pike Bishop said in The Wild Bunch, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Because grade-A film festivals, of course, are generally dependable forums for the richest, most far-reaching and most delightful films emerging at a given moment. You can’t have one without the other. Suffering and deliverance go hand in hand.

Obiter Dicta

In his Bugonia review, New Yorker critic Justin Chang offhandedly admits that Luca Guadagnino’s After The Hunt wasn’t critically trashed by for its cinematic shortcomings but for political-cultural reasons — for being “noxiously reactionary.”

Try To Comprehend The Trump Ballroom’s Vulgarity

In my head the planned Trump ballroom, to be built where the now-eradicated East Wing of the White House recently stood, is an architectural hall of pus and fascist hubris.

Donald Trump is a temporary resident of a grand historical home that is owned by taxpayers. He didn’t have the right to mangle the traditional look of the place. He was obliged to respect the historical continuity aspect, and instead he said “fuck it, I’m going to Mar a Lago this place.”

In my mind the Trump ballroom is a spiritual kin of the giant StayPuft Marshmallow Man, whom we all remember from the totally unfunny third act of Ivan Reitman’s Ghostbusters.

Until the sudden bulldozing of the East Wing and the revealing of the ballroom’s architectural scheme, I had taken vague comfort in the notion of the Trump presidency being theoretically finite and, you know, at least potentially a done deal (i.e., history) as of 1.20.29.

But the Stay-Puft ballroom will probably endure, and that likely fact has deeply enraged me. My blood is boiling.

If Gavin Newsom wins in ‘28, it must be torn the fuck down. I’m serious. Bulldoze the damn thing and rebuild a new East Wing, one that will presumably exude a semblance of taste, restraint and proper decorum.

And if Newsom won’t destroy it, the French 75 should figure some way to dynamite it. This sounds crazy, I realize, but I would honestly not have a huge problem with Leonardo DiCaprio‘s Bob Ferguson using a drone to…I don’t know, drop a firebomb or something at 3:30 am.

The drawings/models of the older, classic White House vs. the Trump remodelling were copied from a 10.22.25 N.Y. Times story.

HE’s Latest “OBAA” Takedown Is A Tough One To Dispute

…and it’s been staring us right in the face since Paul Thomas Anderson’s anti-rural-white-America epic opened four weeks ago on 9.26.

And here it is:

Even the ugliest, most deranged, most demonically boozy or druggy dad would have serious qualms about killing his own daughter, especially if the bad dad is a hardcore rightie, given traditional conservative beliefs (Charlie Kirk, etc.) in the sanctified rituals of parenting and fatherhood.

And yet Sean Penn’s Colonel Lockjaw is such an impossibly racist fucktard that he somehow determines that his mixed-race daughter, Chase Infiniti’s Willa, has to be iced so as to eliminate biological proof that he once had sex with Willa’s African-American mother (Teyana Taylor’s Perfidia Beverly Hills)…a paternity situation that would totally kill his chances of being accepted into a secret rightwing racist fraternity called the Christmas Adventurers Club.

This is what’s fundamentally and humanly wrong with One Battle After Another. There’s just no believing that this kind of psychopathic ugliness could prevail within the heart of even a fanatical rightwing hard-ass like Lockjaw….even the sickest, most racially diseased dad in the world wouldn’t clip his own daughter over a social-political motive.

Even if Lockjaw was so insanely devoted to racist ideology that he tried to nullify his own heart and shut off his own soul spigot in order to commit filicide, even the sickest bad dad would be so inwardly torn about the prospect of murdering his own that he probably couldn’t go there. Because deep down, even the worst dads are human.

And yet PTA has dramatically invested in this kind of venality. He believes that Lockjaw, being a racist pig and all, could be a daughter-killer. He bases the bulk of the film, in fact, upon this premise. (Not the 40-minute prologue set in 2008 or thereabouts, but the present-tense part.)

The problem isn’t just that silent Godly guidance and the better angels of human nature forbid such a diseased mindset at the end of the day, but that we, the ticket-buying, popcorn-inhaling, non-lefty extremists in the audience…we can’t and won’t believe this shit. It simply doesn’t add up in human terms. Filicide is simply a bridge too far in this context, and it just doesn’t wash.

Left progressives (who of course include many film-industry types and many if not most film critics) are buying it, of course, because they see hardcore, immigrant-arresting, ICE-resembling righties in starched military fatigues as inherently evil…to them a belief in Lockjaw’s inhuman scheme is a no-brainer and a no-sweater.

Even I, a sensible centrist, had half-accepted Lockjaw’s sick decision to slay his own daughter. I sat there in my movie-theatre seat and went along with PTA’s dramatic suggestion until, yesterday around noon, a friend flipped a moral switch by mentioning what I’ve written here. A lightbulb went on and I went “wow…yeah, of course…that’s a good one.”

What’s The Big Deal? Not Getting It.

Will someone explain what’s so friggin’ Oscar-y about Geeta Gandbhir‘s The Perfect Neighbor (Netflix), which premiered 9 or 10 months ago at wokey-woke Sundance?

It’s a very compelling, skillfully edited police-bodycam-footage doc of a boilerplate racial-animus-in-a-neighborhood killing. Hate-driven, agitated-by-noisy-kids Karen (who probably drinks) pulls a gun, loses control, plugs her POC neighbor in the chest…par for the course in Ocala, a boondocky burgh in northern central Florida …a downmarket tabloid American town.

An unfortunately commonplace occurence these days, but on the other hand (a) what’s the big deal?, (b) what else is new? and (c) so what?

What about a Netflix doc about Iryna Zarutska, the innocent young Ukranian blonde who was recently stabbed to death by that mentally unstable black dude, Decarlos Brown, in the Charlotte area?

Or about that 2023 NY subway episode in which Daniel Penny restrained the mentally unstable Jordan Neely and inadvertently choked him to death?

No way, Jose. One, no documentarian operating within the iiberal Hollywood filmmaking bubble would dare make a doc about either incident. And two, neither Sundance nor Netflix would ever screen either one, mainly because of content that would inevitably reflect negatively on DOCs (dudes of color).

I’m obviously not defending that seemingly scabrous Ocala woman who shot her neighbor point blank. But docs about real-life killings have to cast frowning judgment upon paleface aggressors.

Gleiberman Is Way, WAY Wrong On This One…Sorry

I’m sorry but herewith is a bellowing HE ixnay in response to an outrageous, forehead-slapping assertion from Variety‘s Owen Gleiberman, to wit:

No, no, no, no, no…no way.

First, Owen says that the “OBAA is hardcore leftwing girlboss agitprop” accusation is primarily coming from “commentators on the right, the far right, and the extreme alt-right, from Ben Shapiro to film critic Armond White.”

But wait…he acknowledges that Brett Easton Ellis is saying this also.

And hey…what about little old me, bruh?…a sensible centrist who voted for Kamala Harris, Barack Obama and John Kerry, who wears Italian-crafted lace-ups and has undergone three Prague touch-ups, continues to swear by David Bowie, Lou Reed and Warren Zevon on the headphones while telling Big Star cultists to go fuck themselves, dropped acid at least 10 or 12 times in the old days, and so on? I’m no rightie! I’m an odd blend of Honore de Balzac, Georges Danton and Robert Ryan‘s Deke Thornton in The Wild Bunch, for Chrissake.

And what about John Nolte‘s recent, thought-through assertion that One Battle After Another is a grand inverse of D.W. Griffith’s The Birth of a Nation?

HE to Gleiberman: “I’m very, very sorry but OBAA definitely celebrates or at least emotionally supports or sympathizes with vigorous hard-left agitation and sweaty-ass-cheek insurrectionism

“On top of which it’s totally fucking finished as a prospective Best Picture Oscar winner. Nominations, sure, but no Best Picture cigar. The four finalists with an actual chance of winning the top prize are Hamnet, the totally masterful and elevational Sentimental Value, possibly Marty Supreme but not really, and Ryan Coogler’s bullshit mediocre schlocksploitation vampire flick.

“The nationwide vibe shift has changed everything. Charlie Kirk (whose views I mostly found appalling, no matter how civil his debating manner was) was shot in the neck by a young, ferocious-minded gay lefty…a dude who thought and acted and burned within like Perfidia Beverly Hills. Stick a fork into One Battle After Another. Stick it in and break it off.”

Owen again:

When Dervish-like Speed Demon Met The “Stupefied Languor of Anomie”

Eureka! Late last night I watched the first three episodes of Rebecca Miller’s Mr. Scorsese, and I felt so roused and super-engaged I didn’t even notice that episode #3 (which ends with the rightwing hate that greeted The Last Temptation of Christ in ‘88) ended just after 2 am.

We’re all fully familiar with the frenzied, 60-year, up-and-down-but-mostly-up saga of the career of Martin Scorsese, of course, but there’s something primal and alive and almost cleansing in the fissures and textures of Miller’s five-hour doc.

Why did it hold me so? Because it didn’t just feel like Scorsese’s story but my own. At every juncture I was “there” in real time, communing with each and every film — emotionally, instinctually, aesthetically — and I mean going all the way back to Boxcar Bertha, which wasn’t much (after seeing it John Cassavetes gave Scorsese a fatherly hug and said “you’ve just spent a year of your life making a piece of shit”) but at least had one good sex scene.

In a phrase Mr. Scorsese is really great stuff. First-rate, up close and searingly personal. It reminds you that Scorsese led a very anxious and shadowed and haunted life for at least his first half-century on the planet. No bowl of cherries, no walk in the park.

I’m thinking now of an oncamera Paul Schrader quote about how Travis Bickle, the proverbial Underground Man, was speaking to “no one” in the early ‘70s…the isolation was all but total back then.  Now almost the same kind of guy is online, and he is legion…the solo Underground Man thing has become an online community…the “Internet Man”.

Please re-read Pauline Kael’s 2.9.76 New Yorker review of Taxi Driver.

Friendo: “The persistent sneers of dismissal that now frequently greet Pauline’s name are one more sign that 2025 film culture has lost its marbles.”

DeNiro Was Always Better When Playing Eccentric, Wackazoid, Cut-Loose Characters

Being a highly skilled thesp, Robert DeNiro has always been able to play mellow or solemn or soft-spoken. He’s performed in this vein more often than not.

But except for five low-key, major-value performances — his Vito Corleone in The Godfather, Part II, Jack Walsh in Midnight Run (full of inner conflict, regret about past mistakes), the inwardly chilly, mostly pragmatic Neil MacAuley in Heat, timid Chicago cop Wayne Dobie in Mad Dog and Glory, and that super-moderate, restrained, gentle-feeling performance that he gave in Nancy Meyers’ The Intern — DeNiro has generally failed to make truly vivid impressions unless he’s played characters with some kind of manic vibe or a violent impulse thing or, you know, a loose screw aspect.

The more “normal”, sensible and schlubby his characters were, the less effective DeNiro has been. The more “ruled by inner demons” they were, the better he was.

Those five perfs aside, DeNiro was born to play edgelords.

Think about it — Johnny Boy in Mean Streets (hyper nutter), Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull (animal), Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver (psycho with a messiah complex), Rupert Pupkin in The King of Comedy (delusional would-be comedian), Satan in Angel Heart, Al Capone in The Untouchables (fiendish, baseball-bat-wielding, Prohibition-era monster), Jimmy Conway in Goodfellas (Brooklyn mob sociopath), Max Cady in Cape Fear (evil psychopathic pervert), Louis Gara in Jackie Brown (stupid lowlife criminal), Jack Byrnes in Meet The Parents (obsessive psycho-dad), Pat Solitano in Silver Linings Playbook (obsessive Philadelphia Eagles gambling junkie), Frank Sheeran in The Irishman (contract killer).

These twelve performances are where the DeNiro gold is…twelve edgelords…twelve sociopaths or obsessives…twelve lit fuses.