Jeffrey Wells

5:43 pm Pacific Update: “It’s over,” an MSNBC source is saying. “The suspect [19 year-old Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev] is in custody and alive. A medic has been called for.” Another source confirms same.

Bloody “Johhkar” Tsarnaev after being apprehended by law enforcement officials.

4:25 pm Pacific: News reports are indicating that the second Boston Marathon bomber, 19 year-old Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev, may have possibly been hit in a hail of gunfire and is possibly bleeding to death in the back of a boat in somebody’s backyard in Watertown.

I’ve just seen an amateur video of a very recent shooting in Watertown, and the gunfire (presumably from the police) was pretty intense. 40, 50 rounds at least. It went on for ten or twelve seconds. The finale of The Wild Bunch, the bank robbery sequence in Heat.

5:20 pm Update: The boat is on fire?

How long can it take to confirm yea or nay? Send shooters into the area, surround the guy, bring it to a close. The guy was reportedly shot and bleeding ( a woman found a blood trail in her back yard) and was probably hiding in the boat all day.

I’m not advocating this for obvious reasons, but in my heart of hearts I’d like to see the action covered via three or four helmet-cams. I know this sounds intemperate, but on a certain level this is a televised event (half Cops, half Hunger Games) with an audience that wants some level of satisfaction. Safety and security for lawmen and bystanders is paramount, of course, but I’m a little bit used to things happening in a Michael Mann sort of way and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to feeling impatient earlier today as the hours dragged on. How many hundreds of guys on the side of the law vs. one 19 year-old kid who may or may not have an IED strapped to his chest?

“Johh-kar”‘s accomplice in the Boston Marathon bombing, older brother Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, was killed last night by cops.

Thomas Vinterberg‘s The Hunt “is a small-town drama about an innocent divorced man (Mads Mikkelsen) accused of child molestation, and how all his asshole ‘friends’ very quickly fall away from him,” I wrote on 5.20.12 from the Cannes Film Festival. “And then, after torrents of ugliness, how everyone does a gradual turnaround. And how turn-the-other-cheek Mikkelsen accepts this reversal.

“The deplorable behavior and rank stupidity seem somewhat credible on one level, but on another level appallingly false. ‘Why does this movie feel so oppressively full of shit?,’ I kept asking myself. Forget the Crucible-resembling element, and the old, old story about small-town panic leading to the near-ruination of a man’s life. The bottom line is that this isn’t a satisfying story. Stupidity reigns, evil walks, justice isn’t served and a bullet slams into a tree at the very end. Zinngg!

“Would best friends and longtime drinking and hunting buddies really turn on an old friend like that, even when law officials have found a significant flaw in his accusers’ stories?

“Would a five-year-old create a ferocious fantasy because she feels faintly slighted when a certain adult neighbor tells her that kisses on the lips are only for parents and grandparents?

“Are parents so rock stupid as to completely discount this five-year-old when she recants said fantasy more than once?

“Would small-towners really descend to the level of terrified blind steers in a situation like this?

“Maybe all this has happened (perhaps even countless times) but I didn’t buy it, not for a second. Not as Vinterberg showed it to me. The b.s. meter was going off constantly….’Beep-beep-beep-beep-beeeeeep-beepity-beep-beep-beeeeeep!”

I felt one of the worst pain sensations of my life during the 2006 Cannes Film Festival. I had a small bottle of eyedrops and a small bottle of intense cinnamon mouthwash in my jacket pocket, and in a moment of haste and distraction I grabbed the mouthwash bottle, leaned back and squeezed the liquid into my right eye. It felt like hydrochloric acid melting my eyeball and leaking into my brain. I couldn’t think, couldn’t see, couldn’t focus on how to find water to splash into my eye.

There was no love or sympathy for the Boston bombing suspects from their uncle, Ruslan Tsarni, during a statement this morning to news crews. An angry Tsarni that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, 19, and his older brother, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, “do not deserve to live on this earth” He called the brothers “losers” and said that Tamerlan “absolutely deserved” to be shot and killed.

Right away I thought of another man venting anger at a close family member who’s just committed a terrible crime. It happens in a third-act scene in Peter Landesman‘s forthcoming Parkland. On the evening of 11.22.63 an enraged Robert Oswald is allowed to speak with his younger brother Lee inside a small room at Dallas Police headquarters.

An urgent manhunt action-and-death scenario is unfolding in the Boston suburb of Watertown right now. It’s real and dangerous and nuts and anything but entertainment for anyone involved…but of course it’s riveting TV news coverage with the younger of two Russian Chechnyan suspects in Monday’s Boston bombing — 19 year-old Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev — all but certain to be apprehended or perhaps killed within the next few hours (or perhaps minutes). His older brother, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, was killed by cops early this morning (or late last night) with an IED strapped to his chest before — get this — being run over by an SUV driven by his younger brother. A 7-Eleven was robbed last night at 10:20 pm. IED bombs were hurled out the window of a stolen/carjacked SUV.

This is real and crazy and intense. A bomb could go off. More bullets could be fired. Don’t pull back and talk about the movie version. Don’t mention that this urgent, high-throttle activity is straight out of a frenzied extended Michael Mann/David Fincher/Chris Nolan/Oliver Stone steadicam action sequence. And by the way, Dzhokhar is almost pronounced like “Joker” except it’s “JOH-karr.” Update: “JOH-karr” has reportedly been found and cornered in Watertown and a stand-off situation is now happening.

And if you’re in the on-air media community and particularly if you’re a CNN or MSNBC or network news reporter or commentator of any kind, do NOT under any circumstance mention the “M” or the “I” word when discussing the reported background of the two fugitive-suspects. It’s irresponsible at this stage. I’ve included two paragraphs from a N.Y. Times report about the activity of the last few hours, and have been listening to two news channels over the last hour and neither the “M” nor the “I” word has not been mentioned, and if I know the news media it will be mentioned only when their hand has been forced. Okay, the word “Islam” might be mentioned but not the “M” word. Of course it’ll be mentioned eventually. Let’s just keep it out of the conversation for the next few hours.

6:38 am update: MSNBC is reporting that there may be some sort of link — possible, unsubstantiated — between the suspects and the Islamic Jihad Union. Also: An accomplice of the two Tsarnaev brothers reportedly left Boston on a train to Connecticut but that train has now been stopped in East Norwalk, Connecticut (next door to my home town of Wilton) and has been surrounded.

You know that air travel over the next week or two is going to be a bitch. “Security theatre” will be back in force.

A failing grade from Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t mean squat at the box-office. When it comes to eye-candy sci-fi Joe and Jane Popcorn always disdain or ignore what elitist critics think. But a 57% rating does mean that the riff about Joseph Kosinki being “the new James Cameron” is over. The proof is in the pudding and Kosinski has found his level as a hard working, reasonably talented provider of expensive, high-concept CG fantasias. But at best he’s a poor man’s Cameron. JK just doesn’t seem to have those JC internals — edge, discipline, super-will.

I don’t know anything but I’m getting a little bit of Beau Pere vibe from this teaser for Francois Ozon‘s Jeune et Jolie, which will play in competition at the 2013 Cannes Film Festival. The lead character played by Marine Vacth, who will turn 23 when the festival begins, is 17. Except 22 or 23 is a whole different ballgame than 17. And how do you pronounce “Vacth”?

This morning N.Y. Post critic/columnist Lou Lumenick reported the following about Warner Home Video’s Shane Bluray, which will now be issued with a 1.37:1 aspect ratio per yesterday’s announcement: “‘We may not be able to release the Bluray as planned [on June 4th],’ a Warner rep adds. ‘We are waiting word from mastering as to when we will have things ready on the new version and then will officially reschedule the release date.'”

Does it strike anyone else as curious that with all the Shane hubbub over the last few weeks and all those Home Theatre Forum aspect-ratio discussions that Warner Home Video has never officially or un-officially said squat about this? Even now they’re silent. It’s like when L. Ron Hubbard died and the Scientology hierarchy didn’t say anything until a week or two later. It’s like standing outside the Kremlin in the early ’70s and looking up at those gray walls and the armed guards pacing back and forth.

I’ve sent the following note to Woody Allen via his publicist: “Dear Woody — As you may have heard the Shane Bluray saga now has a happy ending with a Warner Bros. spokesperson telling N.Y. Post critic/columnist Lou Lumenick that the film will be released with a 1.37 aspect ratio and not the much-dreaded 1.66 a.r. that George Stevens, Jr. told me the film would be presented in. I just want to thank you for taking the time to write me with your feelings about this matter. I don’t know if your viewpoint (i.e, that Shane should only be seen in its original aspect ratio) influenced the decision of Warner Home Video executives, but I’m sure they heard what you said. Your contribution to the conversation is deeply appreciated and I’m sure many others feel as I do. You ‘stood up’ and I greatly admire that. Best wishes & looking forward to seeing Blue Jasmine later this year. — regards, Jeffrey Wells, HE.”