I love Guillermo del Toro‘s Cronos as much as the next guy, perhaps more so. But $33 and change is too much to ask. I know, I know — buy it online. But there’s a special charge from an impulse buy. I would go $20 or $22 and change, but that’s my limit. To think that Cronos is nearly 18 years old.

With Noah Baumbach‘s legendary Greenberg nominated for three Spirit Awards — Best Film, Best Actor (Ben Stiller) and Best Actress (Greta Gerwig) — I’m kind of wondering that as long as the spigot was on, why didn’t Rhys Ifans land one for Best Supporting Actor? Because he was, y’know, more or less perfect as Roger Greenberg’s somber (secretly depressed?) band buddy from the ’80s.

And she understands every word, of course. I’ve done this at parties, laughing along without having a clue. We all have. The difference is that Ms. Roberts was reportedly paid $1.5 million.

There are few if any filmmakers with austere rock-star chops like Joel and Ethan Coen, but you can’t call a movie a home run just because it’s smartly assembled. Craft only gets you so far. The film has to be about something that matters to many if not most people. And I am telling you that True Grit, while beautifully made with some deliciously formal old-west dialogue (much of it straight from the Charles Portis novel, I gather) and a smart, spunky debut performance from Hallie Steinfeld, is essentially a cold and mannered “art” western that matters not.

Every now and then the Coens, despite their immense talent and heavy-osity, drop the clay jug on the kitchen floor. True Grit has now joined The Ladykillers, The Man Who Wasn’t There, The Hudsucker Proxy and (I know this is a minority opinion) O Brother, Where Art Thou? on the list of wrong-turners.

There’s one exceptional scene in the beginning — a bargaining scene about money and stolen horses — between Steinfeld and Dakin Matthews that’s pretty close to superb. For my money Matthews delivers True Grit‘s best male performance, hands down.

I’d be willing to argue with fans of this film, but not all that passionately. It’s indisputably solid and grade-A as far as those attributes go, but all it seems to say is “yep, life in the Old West was harsh and brutal, all right, but people of sand and character stood up and demanded that evil-doers be captured and punished, and 14 year-old Mattie Ross ” — i.e., Steinfeld’s character — “was surely one of these.” Yeah….and?

And nothing. People of serious moral fibre sometimes get hurt or even killed in trying to see justice done, and drunks will always be drunks, and the evil-doer sometimes is just a bearded dog-like degenerate, and a whole lotta fellers wind up gettin’ shot and maimed and sometimes their bodies aren’t even buried — they just lie there and rot. And the living get older and come back to the scene of the adventure, to so speak, and are told that a guy who was old and fat to begin with has “moved on,” so to speak

Mattie hires the renowned Ruben Cogburn (Jeff Bridges), a boozy, gravel-voiced, beer-bellied bounty hunter, to hunt down her father’s killer, a hired hand named Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin), and Cogburn naturally tries to keep her from joining the hunt but is eventually won over by Mattie’s moxie. They’re joined by a Texas Ranger named La Boeuf (Matt Damon) who’s also after Chaney for murdering a Texas senator, and lah-dee-lah-lah-lahh. I’m sorry but I knew where it was going and I didn’t much care, and Bridges’ affected gravel-gut voice felt annoying.

I know that Henry Hathaway‘s 1969 version with John Wayne, Kim Darby and Glenn Campbell went with a more upbeat storyline and that the Coens have stuck quite closely to the Portis novel, downbeat ending and all (and added a flash-forward ending, I think). And I’m sitting there in the screening room going, “Uhhm…okay. Gritty stuff, you bet. But can someone tell me what this is supposed to mean to a fella like myself? ‘Cause I don’t get it.”

The Coens are obviously cream-of-the-crop fellows but I didn’t care. Yes, I love the dialogue and don’t want to see Steinfeld get hurt but other than that, I just don’t give a hang about any of it. It has a certain historical charm and color but it feels too dry and cold, and it’s nowhere near as amusing as I’d heard it would be. Yes, Marshall Cogburn shows some sand of his own at the end and does a fine and noble thing, and I just sat there and looked at my watch and said, “Okay, things are wrapping up.”

You want funny? Javier Bardem‘s Anton Chigurh was a barrel of monkeys compared to Bridges, Damon and Brolin. I’m serious. Bardem was my idea of funny here and there. That scene in the little gas station with the terrified older man and the quarter? Odd and creepy and yet darkly funny at the same time? There’s nothing in True Grit that comes remotely close to that scene.

Watching a drunken old lardbucket try to shoot stuff in the air and miss…what is that?

It’ll be fine with me if True Grit lands one of the ten Best Picture nominations. The combined rep of the True Grit team — the Coens, producer Scott Rudin, costars Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin — could rope that steer and bring it to market. But if this material was made by unknowns, I doubt anyone would notice. Well, maybe.

Here’s how I put it yesterday in an email to a friend: “True Grit obviously deserves respect, but it’s a problem. It’s stylistically polished, period authentic, ‘good’ as far as it goes, admirable in portions (there’s a nighttime showdown between Damon and three or four guys on horseback that’s quite brilliant), and a clear example of absolute authorial ownership. But it’s going to die almost immediately when it opens.

“Superb chops just ain’t enough. No Country for Old Men was about a kind of alien poison and madness taking root in the country. A Serious Man said God doesn’t care about your happiness or well-being. True Grit says that life was tough and gnarly in the Old West. Big deal. It’s just a purely rendered, dialogue-eloquent, very realistic, warts-and-all adaptation of the Portis novel with a whole lotta corpses and guys gettin’ all shot up. It’s an artistic exercise piece about harsh and rugged and sometimes grisly events amounting to…what?

“Kick it to the curb, I say. I don’t need it, want it…it’s very good, very high-level, and I don’t give a damn about anyone or anything in it except for Hallie. And Dakin Matthews, who’s perfect.

“What was that gravel-gut voice Bridges was using? I figured he had to use another voice or he’d sound too much like the boozy country-singer he played and won the Oscar for in Crazy Heart. So he borrowed a little Wallace Beery in Jackass Mail and a little Nick Nolte in 48 HRS. and came up with an old snarly gunslinger voice. No interest. You can have him.”

Focus Features hosted a press soiree early Tuesday evening for The Kids Are All Right, more particularly for director-co-writer Lisa Cholodenko and costars Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo. Moore’s costar (and likely Best Actress nominee) Annette Bening was in town but didn’t show for reasons that could be discussed…but let’s not. And Glenn Kenny and Armond White were there…schmoozing distance!

At last night’s Kids Are All Right party at Bottino (l. to r.): Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, director-cowriter Lisa Cholodenko.

Suffice that Bening is talking directly to SAG members on both coasts and bypassing, for the most part, press persons like myself. It’s basically about wanting to maintain family privacy, which everyone understands. Either way it’s a safe bet she’ll be nominated, and that older women (as well as the general over-50, uncomfortable-with-Black Swan, King’s Speech-favoring contingent) will be her primary base of support.

I spoke to Ruffalo about that March ’09 version of Julianne Moore‘s climactic speech-to-the-famiily that Scott Feinstein posted on 8.7.10. The significance was that this speech, an admission that the affair she and Ruffalo had was selfish and hurtful, cut his character, Paul, a little slack. “That’s how I see it,” Ruffalo said last night, meaning that he doesn’t see Paul as a predatory ogre but a somewhat immature guy who made a mistake and copped to it and…you know, move on and comme ci comme ca.

Paul “isn’t blameless,” Moore’s character said in the 3.09 script, but “he’s a good guy. [And] if I’m gonna be honest about it, the person who really pushed it was me.” In the rewritten version that was used in the film, of course, Moore doesn’t defend Paul (or say anything about him pro or con), and he’s more or less tossed out like used coffee grounds at the finale.

There’s the slight symbolism of the hat, I realize, with Mia Wasikowska heading off to college at the finale and significantly keeping a hat that Paul had given her. As Ruffalo said in an interview last summer, “That was a real subtle way for the filmmaker to say it’s changed, it isn’t the way it was. Maybe it’s become a more mature relationship, but this man is gonna be in at least Joanie’s life.”

I brought the same point up in a chat with Moore, but she seemed either unfamiliar with the earlier version of the speech or didn’t feel it worked as well as the final version…or something along those lines. We just kind of batted the ball around, touching on this and that. I didn’t say to her that when guys have affairs they’re basically being their usual dog selves, but that’s the way it is, for the most part. But when women have affairs, Moore said, they “tend to be looking to affect a change.” Agreed.

I told her I felt exceptionally pleased and fulfilled after seeing her and Bill Nighy in David Hare‘s The Vertical Hour on stage in early ’07.

You have to be careful when speaking to a famous face and voice at a party to really listen to what they’re saying and not retreat into an inner head-mantra in which you repeat to yourself, “Jesus, this is real…I’m talking to this actor/actress and it feels unreal on some level.” You have to stay on topic, as if you’re talking to an East Hampton cop who’s giving you a ticket for not having your lights turned all the way on.

When guys have affairs they’re basically being their usual dog selves, I feel. But when women have affairs, Moore said, they “tend to be looking to affect a change.” Agreed. I told her I felt exceptionally pleased and fulfilled after seeing her and Bill Nighy in David Hare‘s The Vertical Hour on stage in early ’07.

The party happened at Bottino (246 Tenth Avenue, b’twn 24th and 25th).

I heard Black Swan at tonight’s Zeigeld premiere screening like never before. The big-screen speakers blasted and trumpeted Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, lifting me up and over and out…fuhgedaboutit. It was my third viewing of Black Swan, and I was blown away yet again…over the falls. This film is a masterwork, a symphony, and 97% of the ticket-buying audience will never appreciate how great it can sound and feel because they’ll be seeing it at some shitty-ass megaplex with the sound turned down so the theatre owner can save on maintenance.

Black Swan star and dead-certain Best Actress nominee Natalie Portman, director Darren Aronofsky at post-premiere after-party at Manhattan’s St. Regis Hotel — Tuesday, 11.30, 10:40 pm.

Black Swan‘s breakout star Mila Kunis — Tuesday, 11.30, 11:45 pmn.

Black Swan costar, Mesrine superstar Vincent Cassel.

Scott Feinberg has just posted a 45-minute interview “with one of the more colorful characters in this year’s awards race, Social Network costar and Best Supporting Actor contender Justin Timberlake. It’s one of his first, if not his first, long-form interview this awards season, and I learned a lot from it about Justin and his performance.”

They do a piece about falling down and they don’t include Vivien Leigh‘s radish scene in Gone With The Wind? The look on that boxer’s face when he gets up doesn’t exactly say “I’m ready to fight again!” It says, “Whoa, I gotta fight that guy again?…shit.” I’m glad for General Motors employees who still have jobs and are feeding their families, but I see that GM logo and something goes cold inside. Top-dog GM executives can rot in hell, no offense.

It’s been one of those frenetic mornings. A lot of calling about something I’ve decided not to run for the time being. Tapping out some rough reactions to True Grit. Some back and forth about the Sundance ’11 condo. And preparing for the two big events of the day — a Kids Are All Right schmooze thing in Chelsea, and then the big Black Swan premiere and after-party tonight. The long and the short is that I have to do a time-out for two or three hours.

Michael Mann has so far made one serious failure, and that was (and is) The Keep. I saw it once 27 years ago, and that was sufficient. And yet some, I realize, feel it’s a little better than that. Not that anyone’s had much of a chance to give it another viewing. The Keep isn’t available on DVD or Bluray, but it’s now available through Netflix Streaming.

Congrats to Winter’s Bone director Debra Granik and distributor Roadside Attractions for nabbing two Gotham Awards last night. The grimly realistic Ozarkian drama that launched Jennifer Lawrence took the Best Feature and Best Ensemble Performance trophies. And cheers to the three big honorary award recipients — Black Swan director Darren Aronofsky (looking very dapper with his Preston Sturges moustache), Get Low star Robert Duvall and Conviction star Hilary Swank.

Taken from balcony behind the stage as honorary award-winner Robert Duvall was delivering remarks. Notice Black Swan star Natalie Portman (excellent evening dress!) and her director Darren Aronofsky sitting ringside. I can’t tell if the other guy is Portman’s ballet choreographer b.f. Benjamin Millepied or someone else,

It’s good for an ornery little film like Winter’s Bone to get some hugs and positive attention. Does this mean it’s a “better” film than competitors Black Swan, Blue Valentine and The Kids Are All Right? No — it means that the Gotham award-deciders said “let’s politely blow off the highly respected and admired Blue Valentine, a John Cassevettes-like indie with killer performances, and go with an even smaller little rural film…this way we won’t look like Black Swan or Kids Are All Right star-fuckers or obsequious ass-kissers in any way shape or form….it’ll re-enforce our indie cred.”

I showed up around 9:30 pm after seeing True Grit uptown. And no, I’m not saying anything until the embargo goes up tomorrow at 1 pm eastern.

I had half-expected that Lena Dunham would win the Breakthrough Director Award for Tiny Furniture, but nope — they gave it to Kevin Asch for Holy Rollers. Ronald Bronstein won the Breakthrough Performance award for his work in Daddy Longlegs. Don’t give that Gotham love to the small marginal guys whom people know and like somewhat — give to the really small and marginal guys who’ve barely penetrated public consciousness.

The show, as usual, happened at Cipriani Wall Street in New York City. Awards presenters included Natalie Portman, Bill Murray, Melissa Leo, Steve Buscemi, Sam Rockwell, Winona Ryder, Anthony Mackie and Paul “I thought I was going to get some awards attention for my performance in How Do You Know” Rudd.

No offense but co-hosts Patricia Clarkson and Stanley Tucci should give it a rest after this. Every time I turn around they’re always saying smart and gracious things at a lecturn in front of a big well-dressed crowd.

Just-announced Oscar co-host Anne Hathaway presented a special tribute to Focus Features CEO James Schamus.

Kids Are All Right star Annette Bening attended, but I didn’t see her anywhere.

I mentioned to Duvall in the press room that I’d just received my Warner Home Video archives DVD of John Flynn‘s The Outfit, and that it’s one of my favorite ’70s noirs. He liked hearing that and walked over for a quick chat. He said that it didn’t play on very many screens because “the mafia didn’t like it for some reason” and made some moves to block it.

Winter’s Bone dierctor Debra Granik.

Get Low star Robert Duvall in press room after winning his honorary Gotham award.

Irvin Kershner “seemed amused when I told him that, when I first saw Loving back when I was in college, I really didn’t care much for it because I couldn’t relate to its melancholy story about a guy who was beginning to worry that he’d taken a wrong turn somewhere in his career – and, worse, in his life – and worried whether it was already too late to turn back,” Moving Picture Blog‘s Joe Leydon wrote yesterday.

“But when I watched the movie again 15 years later — and this is the part that Kershner really enjoyed hearing — it was much, much easier for me to relate to the lead character, and to appreciate the spot-on accuracy of the movie’s insightful observations. I probably should take another look at Loving – if only to salute Kershner – but, frankly, I’m afraid I now might find it even more relevant.”

Loving is a film close to my past life, in a sense. It’s set in the commuting world between Manhattan and Westport, Connecticut, which I knew from having gone to high school in nearby Wilton and lived in Westport in ’76 and ’77.

George Segal and Eva Marie Saint played a married couple. It also featured Sterling Hayden, David Doyle, Keenan Wynn, Roy Scheider and future 20th Century Fox president Sherry Lansing.

Segal plays a successful art-director ad guy who feels he may have made a mistake in opting for marriage, kids and suburban domesticity. He feels creatively trapped, hemmed in. Cold as this sounds, a part of him wants to leave it all and start over again. Partly, you can sense, because Segal is aroused by the socially tumultuous times and, on the cusp of his 40s, he wants to savor the fruits before it’s too late. Loving is famous for its tragically farcical ending with Segal and a friend’s wife getting busted for infidelity by a security video camera during a Westport party. A crowd of revelers (including Saint) are watching the show from the main house.

Leydon calls Loving “quietly devastating” — that’s pretty close to how I feel.