What can you say about Brooke Nevils‘ accusation that Matt Lauer had (I can’t figure a way around using the following three words) nonconsensual anal intercourse with her five years ago in a Sochi hotel room…I can’t even finish this sentence, the images are so odious and icky.

What it all seems to boil down to is that (a) the months-long office affair between Lauer and Nevils was consensual except for this particular unwanted congress, which Nevils said she was “too drunk” to give consent to, and (b) Lauer almost certainly showed a lack of caring and sensitivity.

Basic etiquette: You don’t just plow ahead without a green light, for God’s sake. You don’t say to your sexual partner “have you ever had sex while watching Cockleshell Heroes with Trevor Howard?” If the woman or man says, “No, I’ve never done it while Cockleshell Heroes is on the flatscreen…let’s give that a whirl,” okay. But you ask gently, and if he or she is too drunk to offer an opinion about Trevor Howard one way or the other, the gentlemanly thing is to not stream the movie. Simple.