I’d just come through security and was collecting all my stuff — leather computer bag, jacket, elephant hide wallet, two laptops, shoes, scarf, belt, pocket combs. In my haste I unthinkingly scooped up what I thought was my black iPhone 12 (Max Pro).

Ten minutes later I was sitting near gate 53, and discovered I had two black iPhones in my inside vest pocket. I ran back to security and promptly found the distraught guy (gray-haired, blue T-shirt) whose phone had strangely vanished. “Sorry, man…stupid mistake…sorry,” I told him as I restored his life and sanity. He was euphoric, levitating.

James Cagney: “You’re furious after I’ve just gotten you out of jail?”

Horst Buccholz: “You got me into jail!”

Cagney: “So we’re even.”

Dear God in heaven…save me from being seated next to this person.