Thought I Knew This Guy

You’ll never convince me that the famously rotund Jack Black, 54, wasn’t more or less playing himself in High Fidelity, School of Rock, Tropic Thunder and Bernie.

I’ve only chatted with him at parties and press junkets but he’s always struck me as an edgy, manic stoner type, suffused with eccentricity and snapdragon instincts. Black is politically liberal, of course, but has never sounded to me like a naive Pollyanna or a cuddly bunny.

Now he sounds like one. Black confided the other night that before Droolin’ Joe dropped out he always believed that American voters would “do the right thing” (i.e., not re-elect Trump). That’s crazy, man. For months the writing on the wall clearly said that Joe was toast. There was nothing but gloom and resignation on the horizon, especially after the assassination attempt.

It depresses me to think that Black may have gone soft in the head.

No, I will not subject myself to Borderlands.

Recognize Anyone?

Other than the guy playing Garrett Morris (played by Lamorne Morris), I’m not seeing even slight physical resemblances between these cast members from Jason Reitman’s Saturday Night (Sony, 10.11) and any of the actual, original not-ready-for-prime-time players (John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radner, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman, et. al.). Who’s the fair-haired guy supposed to be? Who’s the chick in the red vest playing? Who’s the older black dude in the left far rear?

12:25 pm: Okay, now I see a few similarities:

The Odd Thing

…is that I’m having trouble remembering Josh Gad’s performance in Ed Zwick’s Love and Other Drugs (‘10), which I overpraised upon my initial viewing. The spark of my ardor was some kind of swoony fascination with Anne Hathaway.

Gad played the annoying younger brother of Jake Gyllenhaal’s pharmaceutical sales rep but nothing specific comes to mind. I’ve blocked it out.

Explanation: In the early Obama era the “f” word was actually allowed in mixed company. Now it’s regarded as a hate speech term. Even I, a proverbial free man in Paris, have abandoned it in favor of this or that substitute. Safer that way.

The 14-year-old comment thread is a real window into the past. In hindsight 2010 was almost a kind of Neverland. The woke virus hadn’t even been dreamt of…imagine.

Apologies for Briefly Overlooking or Misunderstanding Tim Walz

Since becoming a Fairfield County limo man I’ve been living an especially rushed and pressured life, and this kind of breathless routine sometimes results in going too quickly with the gut and not sufficiently settling in with this or that issue or person or whatever and listening to the music.

In the matter of yesterday morning’s initial response to Tim Walz, I went almost entirely on visual evidence (friendly but homely face, plumpish, mostly bald, horn-rimmed glasses, ghastly suit-and-tie choices) and physical similarities to Warren Buffett, Will Patton, Tim Kaine, Tom Arnold, etc.

In so doing I hadn’t really listened to Walz other than “Trump-Vance are weird,” and I certainly hadn’t listened to the kind of music playing in his head.

Well, I listened last night and I’ve changed my mind. Walz is obviously smart, scrappy, fearless…that deep, vigorous, slightly sandpaper-y voice is exciting and alive. And he seems to have shed a few pounds. Now, if he could only listen to a clothing and style designer with taste.

I also had an epiphany while driving around yesterday and listening to Walz sound clips and assessment pieces on the dreaded NPR, which really is progressive Soviet state ratio (woke Izvestia Pravda).

It hit me that I really like the vibe of this guy despite his being in league with the woke wackjobbers. That means something, methinks. It’s the man’s chemistry — his basic hum, energy field, life force — despite some of things he’s said (especially regarding trans issues) or is saying. He’s got something combustible going on inside. People like guys like Walz, and as a friend said yesterday, “he may be a home run.”

Best Walz Resemblances So Far

Governor Tim Walz, announced this morning as Kamala’s vp, looks less like a balding, white-haired Will Patton (a thought I shared earlier) and more like (a) a chubby Warren Buffett and (b) a clean-shaven Santa Claus.

The Truth About Feet Shouldn’t Be Fudged

My pulse accelerated when my eyes feasted upon “Your Feet Are Killing Me,” an 8.2 N.Y. Times story by Guy Trebay.

Finally, I excitedly presumed, a Times writer might actually be standing up and saying publicly what I’ve been saying for decades and have known in my soul and bones since I was ten, which is that most human feet, visually, are somewhere between vaguely unsightly and flat-out repulsive.

97% of man-feet should be hidden from view (we all know this) and the same regretfully applies to roughly 85% of female peds. And no one ever admits this.

Alas, Trebay pulls his punches and and opts for a delicate, circumspect tone…wimps out.

From “Unspoken Taboo,” posted on 8.12.18 but originally written 16 years earlier:

“90% if not 95% of human feet are strange and alienating. But it goes farther than that. For me, bare feet are a contemporary pestilence that no culture since the sandal-wearing Greeks and Romans has had to deal with. Once upon a time sandled feet were a subject for light mockery, something that only eccentric beatniks went for. Exposed digits have been ubiquitous, of course, in warm weather months since the mid ’60s. I for one regret it.

“Is it allowable to acknowledge how unfortunate it is these days that virtually every American woman walks around these days in open-toed shoes or sandals, and that a good 70% should probably consider alternatives? I’ve seen some women’s feet that are drop-dead beautiful, but these are the exception. Most of the female feet I see are so-so or okay, at best. Some are dreadful. Most men over the age of 35 or 40 should just forget about going barefoot or wearing sandals, period.

“Every time I see a friend or acquaintance approach on a street or in a mall and I notice they’re wearing sandals, a little part of me dies inside. Or at the very least grims up and prepares.”

Excerpt from Trebay piece: “What is it about a display of digits in the city that people find unfortunate, if not quite egregious? Is it the feet themselves? (And here we are not speaking of those who wear sandals for cultural reasons or for ease of religious observance.) Or is it a creeping sensation that the line between what constitutes public and private spaces has become indistinguishable?

“I have never, ever worn slippers or sandals outside my house,” said Prasan Shah, a co-founder of the cult men’s wear label Original Madras Trading Company. He meant since coming to live in the United States. “I feel childish using this word, but it’s icky,” he said.

“Until Mr. Shah came to this country at 16, he lived mainly in the steamy tropical South Indian city of Chennai, where sandals are worn in almost every setting. He said: “When my father sees me now in sneakers and socks, he’s like: ‘What’s wrong with you? Aren’t you hot?’”

Worse yet, the nattily suited designer said last week, wearing sandals in the city is like giving up your urban cred.

“If I was living in New Jersey, I’d be happy wearing my flip-flops to Target,” Mr. Shah says. “But when I see flip-flops on the streets of New York City, am I rolling my eyes a little bit?”

Harris Chickens Out on Shapiro, Chooses Approvable But Unsexy Minnesota Governor Tim Walz (Balding, White-Haired, Glasses, Will Patton-Resembling)

Hollywood Elsewhere is underwhelmed and frankly depressed by Kamala Harris’s choice of Vice-presidential running mate — the four-eyed, verbally vigorous but staunchly unglammy Tim Walz, the Minnesota governor who looks like a dull middle-management guy, a bit overfed and a cross between a hardware store clerk and an owner of an upstate New York diner.

He could be played in a forthcoming Walz biopic by Will Patton with black hornrims and white hair dye.

He doesn’t even have that Paul Schrader glint-of-madness, soul-of-a-poet thing going on…Walz’s squinty eyes have nothing behind them, and his teeth appear small and worn down, and perhaps his soul is too…in his own quiet way he’s almost horrifying. Look at that homely face! His bland, greenish-gray suits and ties! Jesus, I’m freaking out here!

I would have been much, much happier with Sen. Mark Kelly (i.e., “Gollum).

I was looking for a little excitement and youthful urban pizazz from Pennsylvania governor Josh Shapiro, but Harris wimped…apparently afraid of pissing off the pro-Gaza progressives (Josh is too pro-Israel?) and with femme militants irate over his having stood by a colleague who was accused of sexual harassment.

Harris, in short, has failed to stand up to pressure from hardcore purist lefties. She needed to lean away from those loons and at least pretend to think and act like a sensible left-moderate, and now she’s blown her first test in that regard. Not cool!

Walz is apparently a good, reliable, highly regarded dude on his own terms but my God, why does his selection make me feel so badly?

He looks like a fringe character actor in Charlie Kaufman’s Synecdoche — your vaguely schlumpy, retirement-age uncle from Hartford or Richmond or Tampa, nothing close to a leading man type, a guy who exudes the very opposite of that Gavin Newsom-y quality, that vibe that seems to fit or fulfill that old JFK notion of an ace-level vote-getter…

He’s another Tim Kaine, whose selection as Hillary’s vp in ‘16 lit no fires and quickened no one’s pulse. In short Walz is an unthreatening No. 2 type, strictly backup, and right now I feel very flat and de-energized.

Walz’s two kids are named Hope and Gus — what does that tell you?

Nate Silver: