I’ve finally seen last weekend’s debut episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, and yes, I agree with A.V. Club’s Erik Adams — “It’s not The Daily Show With John Oliver, despite the fact that the bulk of its premiere episode features Oliver dissecting the news and the news media from behind a stylish anchor’s desk. [And] It’s not Oliver’s answer to The Colbert Report, because even though he’s the primary face and voice of the program, he’s not playing a character.” My liking of the show is all about this interview with retired General and former National Security Agency director Keith B. Alexander. This is how you get down to things.

In yesterday’s “Hide Godzilla Ball” piece, I mentioned a decision by Warner Bros. domestic publicity to not screen Gareth Edwards’ film (5.16) for all-media schlubs like myself until Wednesday, 5.14, or four days after my arrival in France, and how this would force me to see it at a commercial cinema in Cannes on 5.14 (i.e., the day it opens in France), even though that would mean taking time off from the opening day of the Cannes Film Festival. Well, guess what? Godzilla is having a public-access premiere in Paris a week from Saturday, and I’ve got a ticket. It’s happening at Le Grand Rex (1 Boulevard Poissonniere, 75002 Paris, France) on the evening of Saturday, May 10th. I’ll arrive in Paris that morning so I’ll have plenty of time to rest and get ready. As far as I can see I’ll be free to review as this is not a private screening. All bets are off once you start selling tickets to the public. Perfect.

Flannel-shirt-wearing beardo sci-fi geeks are much more admiring of John Carpenter‘s The Thing (’82) than they are of Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.‘s 2011 version with Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton and Ulrich Thomsen. They don’t even want to discuss the 1951 Howard Hawks-Christian Nyby version even though it’s the smartest and best-written version of the three. (Not to mention the most engagingly performed as well as the Thing flick that provides the most metaphorically reflective portrait of the culture from which it emerged.) But consider these two endings and tell me — honestly, no evasions — which one has the pizazz?

J.J. Abrams‘ Star Wars, Episode VII cast was officially announced this morning, and the two biggest guys are Llewyn Davis and Lena Dunham‘s half-psycho actor boyfriend? I don’t know, man. I was hoping for a bigger name or two…something. I wanted the 21st Century Steve McQueen to play a major role…but who would that be? Attack The Block‘s John Boyega (where’s he been for the last three years?), the completely unknown Daisy Ridley (Mrs. Selfridge), the half-psychotic Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac (i.e., Llewyn), Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson and Max von Sydow. I read a rumor about Harrison Ford expected to play much more than a cameo as Han Solo. Profoundly dreaded cameos by Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew and Kenny Baker are also locked in.

In 1950 the world population was 2,525,778,669, give or take. By 1964 it had risen by nearly a billion to 3,263,738,832. Today’s approximate tally is 7,243,784,121 — close to triple the 1950 figure. By 2075 the globe will be struggling to sustain 10.5 billion souls. The needs of today’s population are obviously bruising and polluting the planet as is. Life is going to be much more of a 1% vs. 99% equation — 1% will live well or semi-decently and everyone else will be doing without and/or struggling to varying degrees. Blade Runner and then some. The downmarket cultural trends of the last couple of decades (lower and lower education levels, shallower and shallower entertainments) will almost certainly worsen. Right now only a small percentage have any kind of developed or semi-enlightened aesthetic appetites and appreciations. I don’t want to think about the cultural climate that will probably exist 50 or 60 years from now. No more “movies” as most of us know them (i.e., no more dramas or story construction…mostly jizz-whizz interactive crap for the masses). A world full of empty distractions and gross Timur Bekmambetov types and Multicultural Party Animals. Good God.

About 13 hours ago (i.e., roughly 6:30 pm Pacific on Monday, 4.28) Michael Nusair ventured into Steven Soderbergh territory and posted a whacked-down version of William Friedkin‘s Sorcerer. The original theatrical cut, contained in the recently released Warner Home Video Bluray, runs 121 minutes. Musair’s ADD version runs 57 minutes, a reduction of nearly 60%.

I don’t think the ’77 version is fatty or draggy at all. If you cut the “fat” out of any film you remove the connective tissue (atmosphere, downtime, minutiae) that made it a flavorful, semi-organic experience in the first place. The fat is an essential ingredient in the overall — this is what the ADD generation can’t seem to get. At least Nusair’s cut will fan interest in the real thing.

I’ll be seeing All The Way, the LBJ play with Bryan Cranston, and the acclaimed but under-attended Bridges of Madison County during my week-long stay in Manhattan (5.2 through 5.9). All The Way has now been Tony-nominated for Best Play along with Cranston for Best Actor, but poor Bridges, which has been struggling with ticket sales, didn’t snag a Best Musical nomination…shocker. It was nominated for Best Score (music and lyrics by Jason Robert Brown) and Best Actress in a Musical (Kelli O’Hara). Here’s hoping it survives, at least until I attend next week.

What else should I see? I can only afford what I can afford, but I’m open on Friday night (5.2). A friend recommends Lady Day at the Emerson Bar and Grill with Audra McDonald or Hedwig and the Angry Inch or Beautiful, the Carole King musical.

I suspect that if CBS had offered David Letterman‘s slot to Craig Ferguson, he wouldn’t be talking about leaving. You can say “oh, no…he’s not pissed” and “he’s definitely not quitting out of pride” but I’m not buying. The Letterman slot opened up, Feruguson must have wanted it, he didn’t get it and so “eff this pop stand.” It’s one thing to be the 12:30 am guy after Letterman but after Stephen Colbert? I don’t blame him for a second.

Comments a friend: “Ferguson had it written into his contract that if he wasn’t offered the Letterman show, CBS would pay him a one-time $10 million dollar fee. I think he must have received it in his bank account today, took one look at it, and said, ‘Done by December!'”

How do you watch Josh Boone‘s The Fault Is In Our Stars or read John Green‘s novel of the same name without wondering which character will die first? What else is there to do when your story is about young kids with cancer (Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort)? You know at least one will be gone by the end of Act Three. If this didn’t happen audiences would feel jerked around. Yeah, I know — nobody’s assured of a long life. Distributed by Temple Hill, Fault opens on 6.6.

I was informed today that Warner Bros. won’t be screening Godzilla for me and other critics and columnists on my level until the evening of Wednesday, 5.14, or two days before it opens in the States, at which point I’ll be in Cannes. WB publicity knows, of course, that a fair-sized portion (a majority?) of the critic-and-columnist fraternity will be in Cannes from 5.13 through 5.25 so almost nobody will be around for the 5.14 showings. WB obviously wants the Twitter buzz on a low flame until the last possible minute. They’ll be screening Godzilla this week to ultra-elite editors and electronic media types (the first two Manhattan showings are on Thursday, 5.1, and Friday, 5.2), and I’m sure subsequent screenings on both coasts will follow next week. Guys like me will just have to cool our jets. As Godzilla opens commercially in France on Wednesday, 5.14, my best option is to pay to see the first show at a commercial cinema in Cannes and then file right away. Doing so will conflict with the first day of Cannes Film Festival screenings but I guess I can manage.

I’ve been driving up and down Benedict Canyon a lot lately, and I don’t mind saying it’s a wee bit creepy glancing at a big gorilla statue with glowing red eyes every time I drive by 1280 Benedict Canyon Drive, which is just beyond the Beverly Hills city line. The gorilla is a few inches from the curb and right next to the driveway. There’s also a chimpanzee sculpture on the other side of the driveway and a King Kong-sized gorilla sitting on a hill just inside the gate. What is a home owner saying by having three apes “guard” his property? He’s saying he’s eccentric, has a bit of an ego, isn’t a timid businessman, somebody with a machismo complex, looking for attention. A seemingly reliable source (www.city-data.com) says the owner is Urban S. Hirsch III, the founder of Ink Systems, Inc. I suppose that life-sized ape sculptures are cool in and of themselves, but it’s just…I don’t know, a little weird to see these big apes as you’re driving by. Then again it’s no biggie. I can roll with it.

Damon Lindelof and Tom Perrotta‘s The Leftovers (HBO, 6.29) is basically about a rapture-like event in which 2% of the world’s population (roughly 143,000,000 souls) suddenly vaporizes. Or “ascends,” if you’re a believer. Based on Perotta’s 2011 novel, it would appear to be a close relation of Michael Tolkin‘s The Rapture (’91), hands down the most horrific film about born-again Christians ever made. The pilot was directed by Peter Berg. The lead costars are Justin Theroux (what’s be been doing besides lying around with Jennifer Aniston?), Amy Brenneman, Christopher Eccleston, Liv Tyler and Ann Dowd.

A half-hour ago the U.S. population was 317,947,517 — 2% suddenly disappearing would mean an out-of-the-blue absence of 6,358,950 people. The world population is 7,162,622,670 so a 2% reduction would be roughly 143,000,000. Honestly? There are too many on the globe as it is so a 2% reduction isn’t such a bad thing. How about 10% of the population ascending to Heaven? How about 20%? The more the merrier. As long as I don’t get picked, I mean.