Variety‘s Brent Lang is reporting that Sony hackers out of Bangkok have released the promised “Christmas gift” of hacked files, which apparently focus on SPE CEO Michael Lynton. But their big play, which is almost certainly bullshit, has been to threaten some kind of terrorist havoc upon theaters that show The Interview, the object of North Korea’s ire. The goal, of course, is to scare American fraidy cats out into not seeing the film theatrically and therefore damaging Sony’s bottom line.

Interview in which Kim John Wayne Un (Randall Park) meets terrible death. I’m sorry…Jungle Jim Jong. Shit….King Kong Jong. Seriously, Kim Jong Un.

The latest message is comically ungrammatical but here it is: “We will clearly show it to you at the very time and places [that] The Interview be shown, including the premiere, how bitter [the] fate [of] those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to.” Wells insert: Haven’t the Interview premieres already happened? I was at the Los Angeles one and nobody blew anything up.

“Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made,” the Bangkok goons have written. “The world will be full of fear. Remember the 11th of September 2001. We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time. If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.

“Whatever comes in the coming days is called by the greed of Sony Pictures Entertainment. All the world will denounce the SONY.”

Lang has written that the Sony hackers have threatened a 9/11-like attack on movie theaters that The Interview, substantially escalating the stakes surrounding the release of the movie.”

This is horseshit. These guys are just trying to ignite fear. They haven’t the wherewithal to pull off theatre attacks. They know they’re being paid attention to and are just using “9/11” because they know it’ll get a reaction. Think about it. They’re pranking. On top of which logic argues that unless Kim Jong Un and/or his operatives are completely psychotic, they would never sanction such activity as the potential blowback would be severe.

It’s one thing for anonymous cyber-hackers to invade Sony Pictures Entertainment’s network from a swank hotel in Bangkok, but creating terrorist chaos on U.S. soil by hitting theaters that play The Interview means sending several bad guys to the U.S. shores to carry out these threats, and with that the threat of provable links to North Korea would increase tremendously.

If and when these Christmas theatre attacks occur it’s likely that at least some perps would be apprehended sooner or later, and once this happens authorities would eventually discover who sent them and other particulars. This would mean big trouble for North Korea, which is officially denying involvement while at the same time signaling that the Bangkok guys are doing a swell and honorable thing. If and when U.S. authorities obtain provable links between domestic terrorism and North Korean authorities, hard rain will come down on Pyongyang.

Update: In response to this bullshit “threat” the Department of Homeland Security said today that it seems to be bullshit. Their actual statement: “There is no credible intelligence to indicate an active plot against movie theaters within the United States.”