Morgan Spurlock‘s Super-Size Me made a convincing case for the harmful effects of a pure-McDonalds’ diet. I wonder if anyone has ever established a link between people suffering heart attacks and eating an Egg McMuffin (or worse, a Sausage McMuffin!) each and every day? I’m asking because the guy who invented the Egg McMuffin, Herb Peterson, the architect of the clogged American artery, died two days ago.

We know it’s not healthy, but I’ve eaten dozens of Sausage McMuffins over the years. I blame myself primarily, of course, but I also blame McDonalds for serving up the damn things. I’ve probably reduced my lifespan because of my weakness, but also because cackling McDonalds guys made them available, like any heroin dealer.