This Sawyer-Jenner tease reel is pathetic. The point is to tabloid tantalize. What will his voice sound like? What about his mannerisms? What kind of makeup will he be using or will he cut us a break? On his own day-to-day, look-in-the-bathroom-mirror terms Jenner is probably fairly Bhagavad Gita and comme ci comme ca, but the audience for this show will be indistinguishable from the Londoners who paid to gaze upon Joseph (a.k.a. “John”) Merrick before he was adopted by Frederick Treves. I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair.

This is truly a kind of heyday for transgenders. An eternity in the shadows and now, finally, spirits are being freed left and right with everyone cheering or at least approving. All hail Lana Wachowski! Especially with Wachowski fervor now more or less terminated in the wake of Jupiter Ascending.

My spirit is also free. Free, I mean, from the notion that we’re all more or less bisexual with a suppression of this or that side of our natures part of our daily struggle. After many years and in fact decades of serious contemplation of every aspect of my life, I know in my heart that I’ve always been and will always remain a default metrosexual male. This may sound a bit outre, I realize, but I’m truly comfortable with being a regular-ass urban guy — the physical attributes, the morning stubble, the Italian shoes and Kooples T-shirts, the Yamaha downstairs, the worship of all Michael Mann movies except for Blackhat and The Keep, the half-baked Zen philosophy, the baseball mitt on the shelf…all of it.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been involved in preliminary negotiations with a Diane Sawyer representative, and while we’ve yet to get into dates and whatnot, some sort of formal announcement is in the offing.