New Moon has earned a fair and appropriate 37% Rotten Tomatoes rating. I’m amazed and almost stunned that EW’s Lisa Schwarzbaum, the Chicago Tribune‘s Michael Phillips, the Minneapolis Star Tribune‘s Colin Calvert , the Washington Post‘s Michael O’Sulivan and the Philadelphpa Inquirer‘s Carrie Rickey could either (a) give a pass or (b) at the very least go easy on a film that is so draggy and dreary and lifeless.

Hands down the most idiotic-looking CG wolf in motion picture history. Who decided on the size of this thing? I’ll tell you who decided on the size of this thing. An idiot decided on the size of this thing.

The money it’s going to make — is making — this weekend doesn’t matter. Forget. The. Money. All I know is that I felt a palpable current and chemistry from Twilight that worked for what it was, and that this special whatever is utterly missing from New Moon.

Two days ago I was thinking or imagining that I might experience more of the same, and then I saw it Wednesday night and now it’s dead. The franchise, the heat, the interest, the cultural connectivity…all cess-pooled. New Moon will obviously make financial history this weekend but it’s a total zombie franchise now — it walks and morphs and vacuums up revenue and makes teenage girls swoon, but it’s made of dead gray tissue and huge, stupid-looking, dinosaur-size cartoon wolves.

It’s been smothered by Rob Friedman and Chris Weitz and all the other Summit bottom-liners who didn’t understand what they had. They’re be rolling in dough Monday morning, but they’ve totally killed the goose.