Somali pirates “captured four ships earlier today and took more than 60 crew members hostage in a brazen hijacking spree,” a new report says. U.S. funded freelance commando squads — a tough mercenary corps of right-thinking Rambos — need to infiltrate Mombasa in force and get those guys. Use the rage about the economic collapse as fuel. Make the pirates scream for mercy and then really turn on the screws. Feed them to hungry beasts, and then use their guts to grease the treads of tanks. And get Sly Stallone to direct the film.