Whether or not Amber Heard had something to do with this TMZ-posted video of Johnny Depp getting furious in the kitchen, it sure makes Captain Jack look bad. This is a dirty, sordid business and certainly not mine, but I know what it’s like when an alcoholic is raging and shouting “motherfucker!” and slamming cabinet doors and slurping red wine in the early afternoon. My father was a drinker, and so was I (vodka) in the early to mid ’90s. “I am not responsible for the release of [this] video,” Heard told E! yesterday. “It was not what I wanted and I am doing what I can to force the media to take it off the internet. I am attempting to resolve this matter in the most private way possible.” If Depp hadn’t gotten fat, if he still looked like Tonto, half of his troubles wouldn’t be happening. But he looks like a rich, fat lush. Whatever Heard wants from their divorce settlement, she’s probably going to get. This video is a killer.