A 6.28 NBC News story reports that Hiddleswift fans (i.e., Taylor Swift fans who have a passing interest in her recently revealed relationship with Tom Hiddleston) can buy break-up insurance from Taobao, China’s biggest online marketplace. Which is a thing, of course, because everyone has decided that Hiddleswift isn’t long for this world. Mainly because Swift goes through guys like potato chips so it’s basically a matter of when her next mood swing will kick in. Or Hiddleston’s. Whatever.

It’s obviously a dance of the indulged. They’re spinning around Roseland, and when the music stops that’s it. There are many ways by which the “music” in a relationship can stop playing or more precisely can stop being heard. I had a symphonic run with a beautiful blonde from the late spring to mid fall of 2013 so don’t tell me. (The dream wore off, life issues accumulated, her mood changed and I got dumped…that’s life. And yet God still sheds His grace on occasion.)

I’m giving Hiddleswift another three to four months. Two? If either of them encounters the slightest career pothole or slowdown of any kind, it’s over. On top of which Hiddleston is believed to be a bit of a carouser. Clint Eastwood said it decades ago: “No matter how beautiful or desirable a woman may seem, there’s always some guy in her life who’s tired of fucking her.”