It’s obvious why 20th Century Fox decided to give Ridley Scott‘s Exodus a new title — Exodus: Gods and Kings. It’s because it makes the film sound more videogamey or…you know, like a cousin of Games of Thrones or something. It will therefore appeal to the under-educated majority who might be a wee bit uncertain about the meaning of the word “exodus.” Adding a colon and a cheesy subtitle is a zombie studio exec idea — a capitulation to the moronic currents in 21st Century culture. Let’s add subtitles to other Biblical epics: (a) Ben-Hur: Vengeance Is Mine, (b) Kings of Kings: Behind Blue Eyes, (c) Noah: The Exterminating Storm, (d) The Ten Commandments: Blood of the Lamb, (d) Samson and Delilah: Almost Cut My Hair…more? Exodus: Gods and Kings opens on 12.12.14.

Christian Bale as Moses (during his Prince of Egypt phase) in Ridley Scott’s Exodus: Gods and Kings.

Incidentally: Given that Moses had a speech impediment of some kind, I’m presuming that Scott’s film will show him struggling with this handicap to some extent. I’m also presuming the problem will clear up once he finds his voice as God’s messenger when he travels back to Egypt and goes up against Ramses, but not right away. “Uhhnn…ahh-gigga-gig…luh-luh-luh…uhnn…uhhn…luh-luh-let-let-let-let…mum-mum-mum-muh-muh-muh-my pup-pup-pip-pup-people…uhnn…uhnnn…guh-gguh-guh-guh-guh…go!”