“For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, the words I chose in my analogy of the Sandra Fluke situation led to the loss of advertising dollars from Sleep Train Mattress Centers, Quicken Loans, Select Comfort and AutoZone.

“I always say whatever I want to say, but in characterizing Ms. Fluke as a ‘slut’ and ‘a prostitute’ for testifying to lawmakers about wanting the school to amend its health insurance to cover contraception, I incited a situation that endangered my show’s financial health and the security of my family. So obviously my choice of words was not the wisest. I therefore apologize to Ms. Fluke with the hope that this will all go away and I can revert back my usual usual.”