Mick Jagger, 72, and 29-year-old American girlfriend Melanie Hamrick will be welcoming a child next year. A 7.15 piece by The Telegraph‘s Patrick Foster reports that “friends of the star said yesterday that he is unlikely to move in with Hamrick, whose pregnancy was said to have been unplanned.”

If this pregnancy was “unplanned” I’m a monkey’s uncle. I’m presuming one of two possibilities: (1) Hamrick, possibly sensing a lull in the relationship and wanting to fortify things, “accidentally” got pregnant and subsequently declared it was time for motherhood, or (2) sensing the same lull, she told Jagger that things can’t just drift along and that she wanted something joyous and lasting out of their union or else, in response to which Jagger, after a couple of attempts at avoidance, relented.

My insect antennae absolutely guarantee you he didn’t plead with Hamrick to have a child with him. Definitely not his idea — he was pressured or cajoled into it. Not that he dislikes the idea of an eighth child. It’ll be like injecting sheep enzymes. He’ll probably be there for the delivery but, to repeat, may not or probably won’t be living with Hamrick. So he won’t have to change diapers or deal with 3 am feedings, and he still gets to run around and be “Mick Jagger”…cool.