8:02 pm: Will The Revenant steal the Best Picture — Drama from Spotlight? Yes, that’s just happened. Shocker — really, really unexpected. What a mindblower, what an unexpected triumph…whoa. Who predicted a three-award sweep for one of the roughest sits of the year? The Revenant is the show’s wowser winner. The Spotlight guys must be in shock…sorry but again not sorry.

7:55 pm: The Revenant‘s Leonardo DiCaprio wins Best Actor – Drama. Huge cheers and screams inside the Fox tent. Fully deserved, obviously paving the way to Best Actor Oscar. Leo concludes his “thank you” speech with a little Marlon Brando flourish, paying tribute to Native Americans.

7:53 pm: Room‘s Brie Larson wins for Best Female Performance — Drama. Heavily predicted. I would have preferred Brooklyn’ s Saoirse Ronan. I’ll bet the vote was close.

7:41 pm: Jim Carrey wickedly mocking the “two-time Golden Globe winner” intro. And the Best Motion Picture Comedy award goes to The Martian, hands down the biggest laugh riot of the year. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the realm of the Golden Globes. HE to readership: What are your favorite laugh-riot moments in this wonderfully satisfying film? Seriously, The Martian is a very well-made entertainment. Cheers for any win it manages to get from the HFPA, no matter how loony the classification might be.

7:32 pm: Another surprise win — Jennifer Lawerence takes Best Actress Comedy award for Joy. Did anyone see this one coming? Thank God they didn’t give it to The Lady In The Van‘s Maggie Smith. I would have preferred a win by Trainwreck‘s Amy Schumer but this is fine.

7:23 pm: Alejandro G. Inarritu wins Best Director award for The Revenant! What a weekend for The Revenant with the unexpectedly huge box-office and now this. Sorry, Scott Feinberg, but no Gold Watch award for Ridley Scott. Fucking wifi just died in Fox Pavillion so I’m on the iPhone now. Okay, it’s back now. What a shocker. Did anyone see this coming? Very happy and gratified.

7:04 pm: Congested, cold-afflicted Tom Hanks introducing Denzel Washington, recipient of this year’s Cecil B DeMille Award.

6:57 pm: Mr. Robot wins for Best TV Series. No comment. Okay, I have a comment: Congrats!

6:53 pm: Ricky Gervais announcing that he’s “in the awkward position of having to introduce” Mel Gibson again after insulting him some years back. Kicker: “I’d rather have a drink with [Mel Gibson] tonight, in his hotel room, than with Bill Cosby.” Another: “What the fuck does ‘Sugartits’ even mean?” Best Golden Globes moment so far?

6:39 pm: Laszlo Nemes wins Best Foreign Language Golden Globe for Son of Saul! This is the first time tonight that things have really gone Hollywood Elsewhere’s way. It’s been a bit of a weird show so far. Hooray for Lady Gaga, whose facial features I’m still trying to assimilate and hang onto. Nobody cares about Best Song.

6:28 pm: Aaron Sorkin wins Screenplay Award for Steve Jobs, a movie that wasn’t especially lovable or satisfying and which tanked when it went wide? Spotlight was supposed to win this handily. This is the second Jobs shocker of the night after Kate Winslet winning for Best Supporting Actress, all but stealing it from Alicia Vikander.

6:19 pm: J.K. Simmons and Patricia Arquette announcing winner of the Golden Globe Best Supporting Actor award, and…Sylvester Stallone takes it. Okay, roll with it — Sly was very,very good in Creed. Kicker: “I’m gonna thank my imaginary friend Rocky Balboa for being the best friend I ever had.” But he doesn’t thank Ryan Coogler.

6:15 pm: Kurt Russell and Kate Hudson announced Golden Glove for Best Animated Feature: Inside Out. No joy in Mudville about this one. Anomalisa should have won. Bored with Pixar dominance.

6:05 pm: JLaw and ASchu showing highlights from Trainwreck, Joy. Confidence, presence, coolness…but the patter underwhelmed. Did Schumer say “cunt”? Amy Adams announcing Best Performance in Comedy/Musical, and the Golden Globe goes to Matt Damon. Who didn’t see that one coming? Huge scream at Fox Viewing Party. “I’ve made a lot of movies that people just didn’t go to see,” Damon says. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

5:52 pm: The Revenant‘s Ryuichi Sakamoto and Alva Noto should have won for Best Musical Score, and not The Hateful Eight‘s Ennio Morricone. I’m sorry but the Sakamoto/Noto was the stuff of instant musical mythology, and a fair amount of Morricone’s score was previously used…right?

5:47 pm: If I was to run into Lady Gaga at a Los Angeles shopping plaza, I wouldn’t know it was Lady Gaga. I’m looking at her right now and I still don’t know what she looks like. Congrats to Christian Slater for his Best Supporting Actor award for Mr. Robot, which I’m supposed to care about and would probably enjoy if I set aside everything and took the time.

5:40 pm: Congratulations to Oscar Isaac‘s winning for his lead performance in HBO’s Show Me A Hero, which I saw three episodes of and fully respected.

5:25 pm: TV awards…Andy Samberg, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Mozart in The Jungle. Not too many hors d’oeuvres, my usual stream of Diet Cokes. I’m warm, comfortable, relaxed — it’s very nice to be here. Thank you, Fox publicity and Sarah Hull in particular.

5:15 pm: Any theories about why The Revenant did as well as it did? Out-earning The Hateful Eight, which hasn’t been a huge success. Fellow invitee and Santa Barbara Film Festival honcho Roger Durling just told me he caught a screening of The Revenant this weekend in Camarillo, which has an ample Latin population. Packed house, applause at the finale.

5:10 pm: Best Supporting Actress award goes to Steve Jobs‘ Kate Winslet? What happened to The Danish Girl‘s Alicia Vikander? Not that Winslet isn’t awardable but wasn’t 2015 a huge breakout year for Vikander? And wasn’t she heavily predicated to win?

5:05 pm: Ricky Gervais‘ Spotlight/molesting priests/Roman Polanski joke bombed. Did he tell a Sean Pean/El Chapo joke? The HFPA “deemed The Martian a comedy and even nominated it,” etc. The Golden Globe award is “worthless,” etc. “And they asked me to host…four times!” And that’s it — short, shot-to-hell monologue. Jonah Hill‘s bear-mask gag is…embarassing? The mike going out is defintely embarassing. Slimmed-down Melissa McCarthy looks amazing — what a transformation. No offense to the television contingent but even though I brought two laptops my battery power is limited so I’m going to concentrate on the movie side of things. I’m sitting in the reserved Revenant section.