I ran this eight years ago in the old HE Movie Poop Shoot column:
Guy #1 has just walked into a convenience store, only to notice that Guy #2 is lying on the floor next to the cash-register guy, who’s obviously not the cash-register guy but some hot-head thief who just happened to be ripping off the store. Guy #1 doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, so when he spots Guy #2…
Guy #1: Oh, Jesus, don’t shoot him. Please. Don’t…
Hot-head thief pulls a gun on him.
Guy #1: Let me tell ya, there’s a crime scene right down the block. You shoot, they’ll hear. Please… you want the money? Just take it. Go out the back. Did you take it yet?
Guy #2 (mockingly): “Did you take it yet?” Jesus Christ…
Hot-head thief: Shut up!
Guy #1: You want the money? You want the money? Just, here…
He deftly causes cash register to open with left hand, and thief puts the cash in his pockets.
Guy #1: You smoke? Whaddaya smoke? Huh? Take some cartons here. You like some candy?
Guy #2: “Do you like candy?” Why don’t you give him a fucking back rub while you’re at it?
Hot-head thief: I said shut up!!
Guy #1: [to thief, pleading] Please, go out the back. Ya gotta go now. Go out the back. You gotta go quiet. Please. You can make it. Ya gotta go now, though.
Guy #2: Call him a cab, huh??
Hot-head thief: [to Guy #2] Get the fuck up! [Guy #2 gets onto his knees, staring straight at thief.]
Guy #1: Please… please.
Guy #2: [to Guy #2] Do you like Rice-a-Roni? How ’bout a nice Diet Sprite?
Guy #1: I’m tellin’ ya, they’re right down the block!
Guy #2: [To thief ] Hey!?
Guy #2 spits into thief’s face. Thief hits him in the head with gun butt, runs out the back door& gone. Guy #1 starts in direction of back door, then turns and looks at Guy #2.
Guy #1: Are you okay?
Guy #2: [Pure contempt] Fuck off.
Guy #1: [heading toward rear of store] Call 911. Tell them police officer needs assistance.
Guy #2: [Incredulous] You’re a cop?
Name the film, the year of release, the director, the screenwriter[s], and the actors who played Guy #1 and #2.