3:29 pm Update: James Rocchi‘s 2011 Guilty Summer Pleasures piece has finally been posted by MSN Movies! Cue cheering, loud exhales, sound of soggy tomatoes hitting the wall, etc.

Earlier today: The night before last (i.e., the evening of 4.11) MSN’s James Rocchi asked his online pallies to submit guilty pleasure pics opening between now and August. I asked when the piece would appear so I could post a link + excerpt. Rocchi figured it would go up sometime yesterday…but it didn’t. And it hasn’t gone up today either.

I’m sorry but in this era of instant worldwide expression the idea of writing something and having it gestate and cool its heels off-screen for 48 or more hours seems ridiculous to me. Online articles are like fresh fruit — once they’ve been picked off the tree they need to be eaten. An un-posted story gets a little bit weaker with each passing hour. Savoring the robust flavor is all.

So the hell with it. Rocchi’s MSN editors have taken too long. Consider this an advance taste of Rocchi’s forthcoming article to come (i.e., the real thing), when and if the MSN team gets around to posting it. Here’s what I sent along:

“My #1 guiltiest anticipated pleasure of the April-to-August period is JJ Abrams‘ Super 8 (6.10) because I’d like to re-experience the pleasure of those old feelings I had 30 years ago when Steven Spielberg held mountains in his hands and I was a loyal devotee who really admired him….unlike today.

“My other biggie is Bad Teacher (6.24) because I’ve been nursing fantasies about secretly slutty, ill-mannered teachers (not to mention secretly slutty nurses and pre-vow nuns) since I was ten years old, and this looks somewhat fulfilling in that regard. Why oh why didn’t a teacher try to take advantage of me when I was 14 or 15? Why do today’s teenagers have all the fun?”

HE theories about Rocchi’s editors: (a) They’re holding on to institutional editing patterns that are left over from the ’90s; (b) The editors have suddenly decided to fly to Hawaii together for a corporate get-together and outdoor picnic; and (c) a cat belonging to a top copy editor has disappeared, and he’s been spending a lot of time walking around his neighborhood going “here, kitty-kitty!” and putting up flyers and telling his neighbors that she’s missing.