I’ve never had a fat cat in my life, but the size of Mouse, my borderline obese two and a half year-old Siamese male, has become a problem. 25 minutes ago, I mean. He just jumped onto the top of the wooden cabinet above the sink, filled with plates and glasses with two suitcases sitting on top, and the cabinet couldn’t take the weight and the whole thing just came CRASHING DOWN on the counter and the floor.

Mouse — Friday, 1.7, 1:05 pm.

It sounded like a series of grenades going off, like the building itself was collapsing. The noise must have startled people walking on the street. The cabinet shattered in sections, smashed plates, smashed glasses, smashed bottles, clutter & crap and liquor stink all over the place. The kitchen is a complete disaster zone, and all because Mouse is Orson Welles. Now I’m looking at $300 or $400 in reconstruction costs to put it back up, replace the plates and glasses…at least.