It’s 11:48 am and a press release just came into my inbox: “The National Lampoon is excited to announce its collaboration with Half Shell Entertainment Films to create new feature films based on archived material from the revered and classic National Lampoon magazine.” This is basically hooey and nothing new because those great old Lampoon short stories by Chris Miller and Doug Kenney will only be weakened or bloated up if they’re adapted for a feature film. Half Shell won’t do this, but they should make a short film based on Kenney’s “First Blow Job,” which ran in ’73. It’s still hilarious, and here it is.