“Before killing something, I always talk to it. An animal that’s been caressed before it’s killed dies peacefully, and its muscles don’t contract with adrenalin. If an animal is slaughtered in a stress-free way, it tastes better.” — Gerard Depardieu quoted today on contactmusic.com.

Except an animal can always tell when he/she/it is about to die. All living things can. They can smell the intent to slaughter like a lie-detector machine can read tension and anxiety. Knowing you’re about to lose your head jacks up your sensitivity levels. (Say whatever you want, but I imagined this once when I was 19 years old and tripping on mescaline, and I’ve never forgotten it.) How does the quote go? “The clarity of mind that comes to a man standing on the gallows is wonderful.” So spare us your b.s., Depardieu. No animal dies unaware of the coming of the blade.

Bonus question: “This little piggy went to the market / as meek and mild as a lamb / but he stopped in his tracks when they gave him the axe / because he knew he’d turn out to be Wham.” What film is this rhyme from?