Like lemmings, you and your pallies will pay to see Antoine Fuqua‘s The Magnificent Seven starting tonight. Despite the fact that you know it more or less blows, as indicated by the 63% and 54% ratings on Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic, respectively.

“When a lazy wank-off flick like The Magnificent Seven comes along and makes you feel drained and nauseous, people like Denzel Washington and feature writer Lewis Beale say ‘hey, relax…it’s just a movie!’ But there’s no relaxing when a film is flagrantly empty except in terms of the photography (Mauro Fiore‘s lensing is first-rate), and has nothing in the way of cleverness or fresh attitude up its sleeve.” — posted on 9.11.16.

“It is written in the Hollywood playbook that the personalities and speaking styles of action-film heroes have to be wry, cocky, self-amused. So completely confident about their badassery that nothing rattles them. No edge, no anxiety. Pretty much every threat is an opportunity for casual dispatch, gun-twirling and deadpan one-liners.” — “The Smug Brothers,” posted on 7.18.16.

“No offense but I don’t trust Antoine Fuqua — he lacks discipline, he’s popcorn, he’s cheeseball and he damn sure is no Akira Kurosawa or John Sturges.” — posted on 4.18.16.

“Touch-feely Ethan Hawke can play traumatized writers or detectives or bad husbands or younger brothers or vampire hematogloists, but he’s never been a Sammy Stud type and never will be, and he therefore can’t fan a six-gun with any flair or conviction.” — posted on 3.2.15.

“There is nothing so detestable as people who dismiss the potential of cinema by saying ‘it’s just a movie.’ Can you imagine Arthur Miller saying ‘it’s just a play’ or a respected architect saying ‘it’s just an office building’ or a designer saying ‘it’s just a suit’ or a gourmet chef saying ‘it’s just a souflee’? Or that any of these were created so you can have ‘a good time’?” — 9.11.16.