I don’t what this Martian thing is. I don’t care to get it. But I know this: The instant that Matt Damon mentioned Aquaman my heart sank into my shoes. Reason: The very mention of a superhero immediately places The Martian on the uh-oh list. If you’re a serious, right-as-rain, power-hit space rescue movie, why do you feel the impulse to even mention a fucking superhero? They’re obviously trying to reach out to the idiot fanboys (i.e., the ones who had problems with the note-perfect AntMan but will be going in droves to The Fantastic Four despite the buzz) but mentioning Aquaman is a way of saying to serious Ridley Scott fans, “Uhhm, just so you know, this isn’t any kind of Alien thing…okay? We’re going with the times here. We need to bring in serious coin. I mean, if we could have worked in a cameo with Ben Affleck‘s Batman — would that be funny or what? Good Will Hunting in space with bat ears! — we would have.”