The Avengers was an unwelcome education when it came to the instincts of Joss Whedon. I called it “funny at times but basically a bludgeoning…corporate CG piss in a gleaming silver bucket.” The destruction-of-midtown-Manhattan finale was almost as hellish as Zack Snyder‘s 50-minute-long Man of Steel finale. My instinct, of course, is to to avoid Avengers: Age of Ultron (Disney, 5.1). I know…okay, strongly suspect it won’t be anywhere near as good as Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but that damn FOMO voice won’t leave me alone. I’d like to duck it altogether but the job unfortunately requires confronting films like this on the slim chance they won’t be soul-deflating. And it will seem necessary to respond to the reviews that Drew McWeeny and Devin Faraci, who live for films like this, will probably write.