Variety‘s Rebecca Rubin is reporting that Adam Wingard‘s Godzilla vs. Kong will now open on 3.26 rather than 5.21. Nobody cares why. What matters to most of us is “whose ass ultimately gets kicked?” How can King Kong possibly fight a 150-foot tall reptile that spews flames? Especially since Kong started out as a 25-foot-tall ape. The producers of Kong: Skull Island decided to make him 90 or 100 feet tall…something like that. It’s all so stupid, but to me Fatzilla seems like the dominant beast.

Note: The usual no-fat-shaming rules don’t apply when it comes to monster reptiles. The fact is that Godzilla became Fatzilla back in 2014, and things have never been the same since.