If I was back east I’d be doing all the Tribeca Film Festival screenings and events this weekend and running around and seeing everyone and taking pictures — pig heaven. But I’m stuck in Los Angeles…well, not “stuck” but I have to say no to certain things or I’ll be broke by Labor Day…and relying on the filings and photography of Jett Wells, HE’s TFF New York correspondent. And…well, the theoretical option of watching a few festival entries online.

I say “theoretical” because I just tried to watch Massy Tadjedin‘s Last Night on the ’50” plasma via Vudu and YouTube and…you know what? I’m not bad at some of this stuff technically but I’m not smart enough to figure out digital downloads on Samsung’s Smart Hub. To hell with it. I really hate that my Samsung BD remote makes it difficult to punch in letters…jerks. If a semi-attuned but slow-in-some-respects guy like myself can’t figure this crap out, imagine what Joe Popcorn is going through. It’s a great idea but the technology just isn’t there yet. Eff it.

“Tribeca Film, in partnership with American Express, brings you the best of independent film (including titles from the 2011 Tribeca Film Festival) wherever you are,” blah blah. “From romantic dramas starring Keira Knightley and Zach Braff to a hilarious comedy co-directed by and starring Dax Shepard to films like The Bleeding House, guaranteed to bring you chills, there’s something for everyone…films will be available on demand starting April 20.” Not so fast, fella! They might be available to guys who really know what they’re doing but not semi-dumb guys like me.